


Homestuck Short Fics

by Crystal_Yang203



Category: Homestuck
Genre: "Vriska-ruins-everyone's-lives" AU, Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Alternate Universe - Normal High School, Canon storyline, Character Death, Dead Aradia, Humanstuck, Jake English (mentioned) - Freeform, Multi, One-Sided Attraction, Robot Jade, Sadstuck, Terezi Pyrope (mentioned) - Freeform, The Signless (mentioned) - Freeform, The Silenced AU, Unrequited Crush, Zombiestuck, albino!Kankri, based on songs I have, brotherly hurt/comfort, cafe restaurants would be a pretty great thing, dreambubble, first kisses woo, ghost!Aradia, i'll add tags as i go, shitty fate, this is all just a bunch of short fics/songfics, trigger warning: mentions of suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-25
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2018-05-23 05:00:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 28,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6105715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crystal_Yang203/pseuds/Crystal_Yang203
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Homestuck short fics/songfics based on songs that I have on my phone. I'll update more as time goes on. Thanks for reading! </p><p>Chapter 19 is up!</p><p>(Please leave constructive criticism if anything bothers you! I'm open to any criticism if it does not involve hate o u o)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Human - EriFef

1: **Human - EriFef**

_ I can hold my breath,  
I can bite my tongue. _

Tears gingerly slipped down smooth tan cheeks, running until there was no more space and instead chose to fall into an abyss of darkness. The darkness that was slowly consuming Feferi Peixes.

_ I can stay awake for days if that's what you want,  
Be your number one. _

Her face was contorted in the smashed mirror pieces on the ground, an ugly distortion that only furthered her rage. In it, she could see what a mess she was behind all those fake smiles and fake laughter that came from the same mouth that was currently twisting into a grimace and holding back a tortured scream. Just so that she could appease one Eridan Ampora.

_ I can fake a smile,  
I can forge a laugh. _

For years, _years,_ she had tried her best to keep up with Eridan's melodramatics. For years, she had to put up a front just so that he could spill his tears on her shoulders on such trivial matters. But he never once asked her if _she_ was okay.

_ I can dance and play the part if that's what you ask,  
Give you all I have. _

But that was okay. After all, they were lovers, weren't they? She was his number one, his everything. So, she played the part, gave it everything she had. 

_I can do it,_  
_I can do it,_  
_I can do it._

She almost succeeded.

_ But I'm only human,  
And I bleed when I fall down. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter comes from the song Human by Christina Perri! The basic synopsis is that Eridan and Feferi had been dating for a while now, but Eridan, being his usual melodramatic self, eventually tires out Feferi. The end is basically her breaking up with Eridan despite her trying to keep the relationship going for as long as possible. After all, she still cares for Eridan no matter how much he drains her energy.


	2. Get Up - Karkat Vantas

2: **Get Up - Karkat**

Rain pattered gently to the ground, soundlessly soaking the virus-infected earth like a solemn embrace of farewell. There, in the midst of the storm in a dark alleyway, laid a motionless figure; tan-skinned with messy locks of dark hair and bloodied scars that showed through gashes in his black long-sleeved shirt. Through gritted teeth came desperate gasps of much needed air, despite the fact that his throat was tight with silenced sobs and dehydration.  


In the eerily pregnant silence that permeated the entire alleyway, the male knew that he was most definitely not alone. He could almost hear the grumbling and the tortured screams of the imminently deceased. Which were currently walking around like a death machine. It terrified him, knowing that one day he would die by those disfigured devils and there would be no one to save him. But he didn't want saving anyways. He knew that it would happen one day. And sometimes, he would think and ponder over a choice; if he chose to, he could always end everything. End his suffering before he met his inevitable demise.

. . . . But, he also knew that he would never be able to. A vague part of his brain subconsciously convinced the boy to continue on; to keep on trying. If not for himself, then for the sake of the few living friends that supported and cared for him, even when he surely did not deserve it. So, it was with hesitant but fierce determination and clenched hands that he began to stand up, albeit a little wobbly and uncertain.

“Dammit, this is all Sollux’s fault anyway... But if this little hopeless stunt I'm going to pull gets that asshole and the other asshats accompanying him to safety, then they can suck my holy ass in gratitude before I fucking kill them myself…”

A moment's hesitation passed before he had moved again. However, instead of the weak process of getting up on both legs, he pushed himself into standing proud and strong, lifting his head high to look at the dark sky through the rain. And he roared like never before, with strength no truer than the one he possessed. “I AM KARKAT FUCKING VANTAS! AND I DARE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU SONS OF BITCHES TO COME AT ME!!” This was his final stand. And he was not going to give up now.

 

_When I get hurt but still stand up,_  
_If it's for being able to meet true strength,_  
_No one needs to be defeated still,_  
_Tears will increase, and scars,_  
_Now, I'll gently sacrifice them to the rain,_  
_In order to walk from tomorrow on again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is based off of the song Getting Up by Yuka Tokumitsu (A.K.A Tailmon from Digimon [yes i am a nerd]). It's a Zombiestuck AU where the main characters of Homestuck are obviously alive (well, at least most of them...) and Sollux decides to pull a risky, but (if they're lucky) beneficial run involving one party that gets the items and one party that acts as distractions. Karkat is one of the members of the decoy group but gets separated, so he pulls that last stunt to help all the others get away like the leader he is (u w u). I just hope he doesn't get hurt too badly....


	3. Immortals - Vriska and Aradia

3: **Immortals - Vriska and Aradia**

“Why are you always soooooooo convinced that we have this whole big part in the universe, Aradia?” 

“I’ve seen it all, Vriska. Every action, every choice; there’s no escaping the inevitable.” The explanation was simple, far too simple for Vriska, that she just had to obnoxiously roll her eyes at the dark haired girl in front of her. Or, well, her ghost to be exact. Aradia had died about a couple months ago in an excavation trip, which was ironic because she had died tripping over poorly buried bones and fell into a pitfall of death. But, for some unexplainable reason, Aradia had came back to haunt her out of everyone else, spouting out nonsense about destiny or something like that.

“Oh yeah, that's right. Blah blah, fate. Of course. So what, did I fuck things up again or something, oh miss I'll-shit-bullshit-about-fate-and-destiny?”

A sigh escaped from Aradia as a vexed expression crossed her face. “You always try to fuck everything up, miss I'll-tempt-fate-just-for-the-heck-of-it,” Aradia countered, a frown pulling down the corners of her lips. 

Vriska barked out a laugh of amusement. “Well, yeah! After all, fate is just some fakey fake bullshit explanation for why something sucks and why something doesn't suck!” But Vriska knew that wasn’t how things worked in this world. To those that believed in fate, she would have been labelled as bad behaviour for trying to challenge fate and go against it. Whatever, not like she cared.

Vriska stared down at Aradia, who was staring just as heavily at her with a hint of exasperated concern. “What will it take for you to realize that you are just going to hurt yourself like this? You are destined for greater things Vriska, not this shadow of one of your idols. Stop fooling yourself with--”

“With what? Silly thoughts? Plans that I’ve made with my own mind and not anyone else’s?! Well, you can just shut it Aradia! I’m not gonna get bossed around by you and your shitty fate!” So who cared if she was bad behavior? She might as well become the best goddamn bad girl out there, and she wasn’t going to accomplish that by sitting still and letting fate take control of her life. No, she was going to do something with what little time she had left, and no one could stop her now.

For this short time, she was invincible; immortal in the way she thought. Her morales fastened themselves to her, never dying and never changing. She was Vriska-fucking-Serket and she wasn't going to let fate tell her who she should be.

_They say we are what we are,_  
_But we don't have to be._  
_I'm bad behavior but I do it in the best way._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter comes from the song Immortals by Fall Out Boy. Basically, Aradia becomes a ghost and comes back to haunt Vriska out of all the people that she knew (however, it's more like Aradia was forced to become a guardian angel for Vriska to try to guide Vriska on the right path). Vriska ignores everything Aradia says though in the end.


	4. The Fourth Drink Instinct - Damara

4: **The Fourth Drink Instinct - Damara**

She never expected to wake up so alone and hurt; lying on a bed with wrinkled sheets, completely exposed and vulnerable. She could just barely recall the events from the long and painless night, though she did remember the feeling of skin on skin and a husky male voice calling out to her.

_“Damara, eh? That’s an interestin’ name you got there. Unique and pretty nice on the tongue… I like it.”_

Damara pulled the sheets around her naked body, clutching it desperately as she fought against the urge to puke. Oh god, she felt terrible. Her head was pounding harshly and it felt as though it was about to split unmercifully, though at this point, she couldn’t tell if it would be an act of mercy or not. With a hoarse voice, she called out for help, hoping desperately that the male who escorted her to this unknown building would still be there at the very least. But despite her wishes, nobody came. 

She never felt as alone as she did then. 

Squeezing her eyes shut, Damara choked back a sob. Why did she think going to a bar would be a good idea? She was just underage; a sixteen year old! So what made her think that she could do something as foolish as sneak into one with a fake ID? 

. . . Oh, how could she forget? 

A fresh wave of nausea washed over her, but she didn’t attempt to fight it this time. Her eyes snapped open and droplets of water made its way down her face, but she didn’t even try to brush them away. Why did she think getting drunk would change things? Or more importantly, why did she think she would be able to forget everything? All that pain, all that guilt. She couldn’t escape from it. After all, who could forget the loud sirens of an ambulance, or the sight of such a small, frail body being pulled into a stretcher with blood running down her arms? Just the thought made Damara gag in horror and choke on her own sobs.

Her little sister was dead. And she was the one to blame.

_ She thought that she could buy happiness  
By the bottle. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Fourth Drink Instinct by Cute Is What We Aim For is this chapter's inspiration. In this chapter, Damara goes to a bar with a fake ID and ends up having a one night stand (do you know who it is? [hint: it's cronus]) at the age of 16. By doing so, she tries to forget the guilt of never being there for her younger sister, Aradia, who commits suicide after years of bullying and verbal abuse from their single father (her mother died while giving birth). Hence, the phrase 'She thought that she could buy happiness by the bottle'.


	5. My Bloody Valentine - AraSol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imagine Sollux waking up in a dilapidated area (right after he had killed Aradia) and afterwards, seeing ashes. He doesn't remember anything but something was obviously wrong.

5: **My Bloody Valentine - AraSol**

The horrible stench of burnt flesh was all Sollux could process before he opened his unshielded mutant eyes; one a fiery red, another a cold, icy blue. He was standing in the midst of ruins, or at least he assumed it was. Large chunks of boulders surrounded his being, which only confused the young troll further. When did he get here? He couldn’t remember. 

Sollux surveyed his surroundings with caution, taking in the scenery around him. There was something very familiar about this place, although he couldn't place why. “...Hello..?” He called out hesitantly into the destroyed space around him. But nobody came. With a sigh, Sollux slouched over, shoved his hands into the pockets of his dark jeans, and began to make his way through… a path? Something akin to a golden path had appeared with every step he took, which only aroused even more questions dwelling in his mind. 

A feeling of unease settled in the pit of his stomach as he continued his path. Why was it so quiet? Not just his surroundings, but his head was also free of the screams of the imminently deceased. There wasn't even a single trace of a headache either! It was all just blank for some unexplainable reason. Sollux gulped thickly and pulled at the collar of his black shirt. He should be happy about this development, but the eerie atmosphere of the dilapidated ruins around him unsettled the young troll immensely. 

… Actually, now that he thought about it, this type of thing would totally be something that a certain adventure loving friend would be ecstatic to see. At that thought, bare traces of a smile appeared on Sollux's face. Maybe he should contact her? After all, she would definitely enjoy this view more than he ever would. But… there was this weird feeling inside him. A feeling that told him no matter how many times he pestered her, she wouldn’t answer. He frowned and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. But why? It wasn’t like she was busy… right?

Once again, an unsettling feeling began to squirm its way inside of Sollux again. When was the last time he had any contact with her in the first place? In a way, it felt like it had been a long, long time since he even talked to the troll, but he swore he had just talked to her the other day. Or was that a week ago? Sollux shook his head in frustration, temporarily pausing in his little trek to wherever he was going. See, this is why he was never the master of time management. It wasn’t like he was made of time after all. 

The thought made him pause once more. Made of time? A memory began to tug at Sollux’s mind, but it wasn’t something that he was particularly happy about. “Made of time… Maid of Time…” He whispered to himself, more out of horror than in confirmation. ‘Oh God no…’ Slowly, memories began to piece itself together. One, in particular, snagged painfully at his blood pusher and decided to stay there, despite his wishes to make it disappear. He crouched down and forced his eyes shut once again, making himself smaller than he actually was as he trembled and mumbled incoherent curses to himself. 

The scenery changed and suddenly, Sollux found himself staring down at dark ashes. He remembered this. He remembered it so clearly that it haunted him. 

The first time Sollux was introduced to this exact same scenery, he was so confused, so lost. He had wandered around aimlessly until he had chanced upon something that he knew was Aradia’s. Hesitantly, he called out, “...AA..? Are you there..?” There was no response. He looked around fearfully and began to piece it all together. The familiarity of the beautiful but dilapidated landscape around him, the migraine pounding against the back of his head, the spark of electricity that he could still feel pricking against his skin; it all made sense. A terrible foreboding sense, sure, but it wasn’t as if he could find a different explanation as to where he was, or why the place was completely wrecked. 

That first time, Sollux had broken into sobs.

This time, Sollux had anticipated it. He didn’t dare look up and just stared forlornly at the pile of ashes beneath his crouching body. He already knew what he was going to see. But, he hadn’t expected small, but strong arms to pull him up to his feet and he couldn’t help but snap his gaze to the person he didn’t want to see at that exact moment. 

“...AA…” He breathed out. Although he had seen her as a ghost many times, seeing her like this was way too much for him because all it did was remind him that she was dead. And it was all his fault. 

He could feel the beginnings of tears prick his eyes as he looked away guiltily. But as soon as he did so, Aradia’s hands reached up to his face and gently held it in place so that he was looking right into her eerie white eyes that seemed to be staring straight into his soul. She slowly wiped away his yellow-stained tears as she whispered to him with a ghost of a smile and kind, sad eyes. “Oh my love, please don't cry.” She pressed a sweet, fleeting kiss on his lips and suddenly the world went black as he was forcibly torn away from her grasp. And he awoke with yellow tears streaming from his empty eye sockets. 

_ You mourn the death of your bloody valentine  
One last time. _

_ Oh, my love  
Please don't cry. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this short fic doesn't follow the song at all, but I did use a couple lines from it hehe. This chapter was inspired by My Bloody Valentine by Good Charlotte and the idea was inspired by the few couple of lines in the story. So, basically, Sollux wakes up in a setting where everything is in ruins and for a few minutes, he doesn't remember a thing. But as soon as he remembers, he has a heart-wrenching flashback, which causes the scene to flash to ghost Aradia who tries to tell him it's not his fault. But he wakes up before she could do so and figures out that it was just a dreambubble. Hahaha, for some reason, I keep killing Aradia (and i'm so sorry for that orz) but I can't help it, AraSol is my angst OTP (; w ;).


	6. All To Myself - SolFef

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is basically a second chapter of the first short-fic I've written for this compilation of short-fic's. It's titled "Human - EriFef".

6: **All To Myself - SolFef**

He didn’t mean to stumble in as stupidly as he did, or to stare at her face even as tears fell from her eyes. But, Sollux couldn’t help it. She was simply too beautiful, just sitting there and looking down at Sollux as her fingers stopped working on the piano keys in front of her figure. The music and singing that flowed inside the room was put to an immediate stop as soon as he crashed into the room. 

“W-what, Sollux?” Her voice quivered as she exclaimed his name. Sollux noticed how her voice was lacking the usual vibrant cheerfulness he was familiar to, but he didn’t process it at the moment. Instead, he laughed nervously and stood up from where he had fallen into the room. 

“Oh, haha, h-hey FF,” he greeted as nonchalantly as he could. His face was flushed with embarrassment and he scratched the back of his neck nervously as he pointedly looked away. “I-I didn’t thee you there,” He lied and cursed himself mentally for lisping right at that moment. It was something that he tried to control as often as he could, but when he lied or was in the presence of someone like Feferi, he couldn’t help but slip up. 

Feferi wiped at her eyes hastily, which made Sollux narrow his eyes in concern, and immediately forged a smile. “Haha, Sollux, you don’t have to lie to me you know?” 

Sollux bit his lips and looked away for a second. “... Okay, I knew you were here. I just, you know, sorta fell in and… FF, I’m… worried about you…” He stammered. She tilted her head and tried to look as innocent and lighthearted as possible, but he could see the slight crack in her facade and the redness in her eyes which indicated she had been crying. He looked away and bit at his lips. “FF, are you… okay?”

He could tell that the chuckle that came out of her mouth was strained. “Of course I'm fine Sollux! I'm feeling fintastic!” She flashed him a big grin, but it never really reached her eyes. “I mean, honestly, I haven't felt this alive in a while! Guess I made the right decision when it came to breaking up with Eridan.” He immediately knew what was troubling her. After all, he hadn't even mentioned Eridan and suddenly she was blasting out word after word about their break up. And with every sentence, he could visibly see her breaking down and deflating. And it pained him.

Sollux walked over to Feferi and sat by her on the piano bench, which made the wonderful and beautiful ranting girl beside him stop. “Sollux?” She questioned with another tilt of her head.

He felt like hugging her right then and there.

Instead, Sollux gave her a strained smile and gestured to the piano. “Can I hear that song you were playing just now? It sounded really great!” He asked, as politely as he could. 

He could see the hesitation in her eyes, even when she smiled and exclaimed, “Sure!” She placed her hands back on the piano keys and began playing a familiar tune. And suddenly she was singing.

 _“I can hold my breath, I can bite my tongue. I can stay awake for days if that’s what you want, be your number one.”_ Sollux recognized that song. And with it, he could also hear the pain, the hurt behind her voice. Which was also insanely wonderful and melodic. 

The facade that she built up was slowly starting to crumble as she sang along to the piano arrangement that she was currently playing. He could see her maroon orbs starting to glisten as her voice began to crack. She had only made it to the beginning of the chorus before a sob wracked through her throat and she wearily slammed her hands down onto the keys. “I can’t! Sollux, I just can’t!” She looked so frail and vulnerable and _beautiful_ , sitting there with tears running down her face as she turned away from him. Sollux breathed out shakily, and hesitantly wrapped his arms around the shaking girl, rubbing his thumbs over her shoulders in a comforting manner. 

“I understand FF. I know.” He didn’t have to say anything else before she turned around and basically slammed herself against him, bursting into heart-wrenching sobs as she clutched almost desperately onto Sollux. He held her close to his body, and just watched her. He didn’t know what to do now except listen to her cry and talk about the guy she broke up with (and the guy he hated with a fucking burning passion). He didn’t know how to comfort the girl of his dreams, especially since he never once thought that he could end up in this predicament. He only admired her from a safe distance; he knew he was never any match for her. No one was, honestly. But he was so lucky, to even have just one moment with her where she could pour herself out to him. In a way, it was almost as though he had her heart all to himself for just a brief moment. 

But then suddenly, she was wiping at her eyes and detaching herself from Sollux’s arms, giving him a watery smile. “Thank you Sollux. Honestly, thank you. You’re the greatest friend I could ask for!” 

Sollux’s chest had hurt painfully at the word ‘friend’ but he paid it no attention. After all, this was the first time he’s had her all to himself. So instead, he gave her the most friendliest smile he could muster and weaved the truth behind his feelings into three words. “Yeah, anytime FF.”

 _Someone please read between my words._  
_Because I am no match for you._  
_Even just for now, even just for one moment,_  
_I want to keep your heart all to myself._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song that inspired this chapter was "Hitorijime" (A.K.A All To Myself) by Hinata Megumi (yes, another nerd song, i know). This chapter, however, is not as happy as the song is. Instead, this chapter focuses on the aftermath of Feferi breaking up with Eridan. Sollux accidentally stumbles in (not so accidental actually) while Feferi is playing the piano and crying. He then proceeds to comfort her as best as he can (you know, being a socially awkward nerd and all). She ends up telling him about her and Eridan's relationship, how it ended the way it did, and how she still cared about him (just not in that way anymore).


	7. Eyes Burning Scarlet - Karkat

7: **Eyes Burning Scarlet - Karkat Vantas**

“FUCK!”

A loud yelp was heard throughout a decently large ablution block. The source of the yelp came from a young troll who was currently rubbing reflex tears away from their eyes and muttering colorful profanities under their breath. “Goddamn, fucking shit-eating grub-fucking shitty contacts. Oh, wear contacts Karkat, it’ll be fun they said! Well, no one fucking told me I had to basically poke my eye in order to fucking INSERT THE GODDAMN CONTACT OR TAKE IT OUT!” He raised the half-empty contact container into the air with his fist and nearly slammed it into the floor tiles. _Nearly._ Instead, he sighed heavily and roughly placed the container onto the counter of the sink before looking up at his reflection. He was a little scruffy looking; short, tousled hair with little horn nubs peeking at the top of his messy locks and dark bags under his eyes. Ahem, correction, _mismatched_ eyes. One eye was a bright candy red, the other a darker shade of red, much like burgundy. 

Karkat glared bitterly into his own eyes, then back down to the accursed bottle that held a contact, which was the matching piece to the burgundy contact that was already covering his real eye color. Yep, that’s right. Candy red was his actual eye color. A horrible mutation that Karkat hated with every fiber of his being and if he could, he would shove that mutation so far up into another being’s ass that everything about them would be colored that horrid red and he’d be perfectly fine with it. But… he also knew that these red eyes would be the start to a new generation. It would be a symbol, in a way, to mark a (hopefully) never-ending future. A future where everyone could be treated equally without having to worry about being culled just for their blood color; a future without the horrible inequality lowbloods are often faced with. 

Karkat heaved a weary sigh and opened the contact container once more, pulling out the the contact in his eye and putting it back where it belonged as his mind circulated with thoughts. He knew that in order to change the Alternian system, he would have to stage something akin to a revolution, one that was similar with The Summoner. Or perhaps, even greater than The Summoner’s revolution. After all, that plan had obviously went to shit sweeps and sweeps ago. No, he was planning something more drastic; something even bigger than The Summoner’s revolution. He was, after all, the descendant of the signless troll, who instilled inspiration in hundreds of trolls and left the world with only the symbol of handcuffs to remember him by. And it was that very same troll who inspired the famous Summoner to plan and instigate the revolution that nearly threw the system into chaos. That wasn’t what Karkat was aiming for. He wanted disaster, the caste system burned down in a beautiful symphony of battle cries and proud bravery, and he wanted The Condesce dead. It was going to be hard, he knew, and he would probably die, but it would all be worth it. 

As Karkat looked up into his own bloodshot, mutated eyes, he could see a spark of some sort in them. A reverberation of hunger, pride, hope, anger, and a burning desire held together in two red eyes that burned ever so passionately on a night-to-night basis. It was his destiny to fulfill and bring back his ancestor’s dream so that it would never vanish. It was almost as if he could hear The Signless speak to him; about his plans, what he accomplished, and what gave him determination. In a way, it seemed as though The Signless lived on through Karkat with his will firmly planted inside the young troll. But that was what spurred Karkat on, the constant feeling of determination and the thought of changing the world he lived in for the better.

Karkat nodded to himself, almost reassuringly as he gripped the edge of the counter tightly. He knew what he had to do and he knew that there would be consequences. But mistakes will always be made and things will never go the way people would want them to go. Even so, Karkat was still willing to try. He swore to those scarlet eyes that contained the fury of him and his ancestor.

_ Proud sorrow, at the point of parting and meeting _  
_ Time simply passes by, mistakes are still being repeated _  
_ Silently, they speak to me, the cries of my ancestors _  
_ Reverberating without a sound, like a flower holding its breath waiting for time _  
_ The light and darkness of history, entrusted to the one who will carry out their will, _  
_ The desire hidden behind their gaze _  
_ Red, red, red, burning passionately _  
_ That the evidence may never, never be erased _  
_ I swear to these scarlet eyes containing the fury. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me a while to finish this one! Had a bit of writer's block and plus, the anime con for Milwaukee came up so I got distracted with that for some time (; u ;). Anyways, this chapter was inspired by the song Eyes Burning Scarlet by Miyuki Sawashiro. Karkat, in this chapter, is a proud young adult troll who's planning on stirring up some kind of a revolution to change the system. But before he does so, he has to pretend to be a rustblood so that he doesn't get culled for being a mutantblood, which is why he wears contacts. Of course, he already knows how to put contacts in and take them out, he just makes a huge fuss about it whenever he accidentally pokes his eye. The way this story ends is completely up to the reader; he could be successful and place Feferi on the throne, or he could ultimately fail and/or meet his demise. Whichever way works for you guys!


	8. Sail - KanTula, MiTula

8: **Sail - KanTula, MiTula**

If there was one word Kankri would describe Latula as, it would be beautiful. She was _absolutely_ gorgeous to him, in every shape and form. There was a sense of grace and elegance that exuberated from within her that he could not describe with all of the words in the world. No, she was something special, a one-of-a-kind. But she wasn't his.

Kankri often regretted running his mouth, or offending people that mattered to him. He regretted the words that sometimes ended up hurting his friends (without him meaning to), and he always regretted his inability to properly show emotion when he needed it the most. But, his top regret, was letting Latula slip through his fingers, like a fleeting image of a butterfly fluttering in the wind. He remembered their conversations; the way Latula lit up when they began to discuss a topic they both enjoyed or the little shake of her head whenever she laughed at a little comment he made; it was all so beautiful to him. But now, as his scarlet eyes scanned the deep ocean filled with sails, he came to a realization. Just like those who chased the wind on their sails, he had chased after Latula, but he was the one who fell. Mituna was the one who stayed afloat.

“Heeeeey, Kanklez! You should totally come join us! This is actually pretty damn rad!” He could hear her clearly, but he responded a lot slower than what he had intended. 

“Oh. I, um, I am quite fine Latula. I am content with just sitting here and watching you sail without me. Oh, well, it is not as if I _watch_ you because that would be rather triggering, but I have been looking around and occasionally, I do end up looking back at you, however, that is only because I am merely curious at how well you are doing on the ocean waves. Ahem, and Mituna as well, of course. I hope he has not injured himself yet, or, if possible, at all. Has he, Latula?” By the time he finished, Latula was already standing in front of him, grinning wide from cheek-to-cheek. 

“Nope! It's nice to know you're watching out for us Kankri, thanks a ton! And Mituna has actually been doing exceptionally great, considering this is his first time and all!” Almost as if it were on cue, a strangled battle cry reached both of their ears and Latula whipped around immediately in alarm. On the shore of the beach was a sand covered Mituna, tripping over his own feet as he attempted to make his way over to Latula. 

“Oh! Tuna, you should have waited!” Latula chided as she easily strode over to the clumsy brunette. He giggled almost madly and practically jumped into Latula’s arms.

“But Tula, you thould’ve theen it!! There wath thith totally rad wave that, that crathed into the thore! It wath…” he paused for effect and spread his arms wide. “Huge!!” Latula chuckled at Mituna and ruffled his shaggy hair, looking at him with nothing else but love and adoration. 

“Oh Tuna, I wish I could've seen it! But, you know, that doesn't mean you should run on the sand! Even though it was adorable, you clumsy bee~” She placed her finger on his button-like nose and playfully wiggled it around, making Mituna laugh and swat her hand away. For Kankri, it was almost sickening to watch. 

“You do realize that acting incredibly, ahem, lovey-dovey with each other may trigger others right, Mituna, Latula? After all, there are people who do not appreciate looking at others, especially those that were lovers, smother each other in broad daylight. It can be extremely triggering and-- are you even listening to me? You do realize that being ignored is very triggering to me. I would appreciate if you turned around and stop coddling each other for at least a minute so that I can lecture you on public decency.” And yet, they still had not turned to him. He only concluded that they could not hear him, even though they stood just a few feet away. Sighing in resignation, Kankri curled up into himself, staring at Latula and Mituna interact oh-so-lovingly. He was envious of Mituna, and even of Latula for moving on so quickly. It seemed as though he was cursed to live like this, to look from afar as he watched Latula slip further and further away from him. It was his fault after all, for not telling her in time; for never answering her properly.

Latula turned to face Kankri once again and asked, “Hey Kankri, we’re gonna go get some ice cream okay? Which flavor did you want?” Kankri didn’t know whether he felt relieved that they were going to go coddle each other somewhere else, or if he felt hurt at the very knowledge that they were going to coddle each other.

“Just strawberry…” He muttered, just loud enough for Latula to hear it. She nodded once, then took off towards an ice cream stand with Mituna’s hand clasped in her own. Kankri stared after them for a while before turning his gaze back to the ocean, then down to his sand-covered toes. “I failed, didn’t I?” He mumbled to himself. He failed to achieve a dream he once had blazing in front of his very own eyes. And now that one opportunity, that one chance to gain it, was gone. It was impossible to try and fix it; it was already torn in thousands of tiny pieces. And as he looked up at Latula, chatting animatedly with Mituna as they exchanged licks of each other's ice creams, he realized that the boat they had once inhibited would never take sail again.

_ Our random talks when we met, even now I still remember.  
Now I look down alone in shame, since I have forgotten how to mend those dreams that were torn apart. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song for this chapter is called Sail by Yanagi Mami. So basically, this short fic takes place in a beach meant for sailing boats either a couple months or a couple years after Mituna and Latula get together as a couple. But before that, Kankri and Latula had a sort of wishy washy relationship where they both liked each other, but Kankri was too slow in admitting/realizing it, even after Latula confesses to him. He doesn't give a proper response back, which ends up tiring Latula quite a bit and she just tells him to forget it. He only realizes his feelings after they break off whatever relationship they had budding. And now he's regretting not taking action.


	9. Myself - KatNep, Karezi

9: **Myself - KatNep, Karezi**

The first time she saw Karkat was the first time Nepeta ever fell completely in flush. She had always felt pale, and hate, and even ashen! But she never felt as much pity as she did when she laid eyes on Karkat Vantas. She could see the deep, profound loneliness in his dark eyes when they locked gazes, and all she wanted to do was hold him tight. Because she knew exactly how loneliness had felt. 

Nepeta wasn’t always in a dark spot, but when she was, she usually had Sir Pounce De Loin, her lusus. But sometimes, it wasn’t enough and she’d find herself withering away for days. She indulged her young troll life with troll fiction, trashy romance novels, and romance movies, all to get away from that clawing loneliness deep in her heart. After all, living in social isolation can certainly do something to a troll. 

That is, until she met her moirail, Equius Zahhak, and her flarping buddies. 

She easily became an excellent roleplayer, both online and in real life, and roleplaying became part of her daily life. Even after she was forbidden to flarp with her friends by Equius, she still stayed in her constant role of being a meowbeast through regular chats. Although, now that she thought of it, her character may have been an excuse to not be herself, who was still filled with that horrible sense of being alone. It was a cover up that she created and Equius saw through it each time. He allowed her to flarp once more, a one-time deal that forced her to promise him that she would be okay. Except, flarping held many possibilities, especially those that were in the more dangerous and daring genres. That day when she came back, cut up and bruised from head to toe, she was absolutely forbidden to flarp without him watching over her. 

Karkat was someone that she had found online, a person that was suggested to her by a cackling teal-blooded troll. At first, she was a little intimidated by his refusal to be her friend and the colorful profanity that would follow right after. Every line held some sort of animosity generated towards her and she was tempted to give up. But then she mentioned one of her favorite romance movies and suddenly, his whole demeanor changed. He still swore excessively and commented on how stupid her roleplaying schtick was, but at the least, he wasn't pushing her away anymore. In fact, there were even a couple of times where he'd start the conversation himself. Through these chats, she began to gradually get to know Karkat beneath the angry demeanor that he put up and started asking more personal type questions. At first, he would refuse to answer them, saying “IT’S NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS CAT GIRL.” And then he would go on this whole rant about how rude it was to ask others about their personal life. But gradually, even though his replies were blunt and short, he still responded to them with genuine answers. And she would do the same if he ever asked her a question. 

One day, she was exploring the thought of quadrants and wondered what a relationship in the flush quadrant would be like. Mainly out of curiosity, she asked Karkat, “What would you do if I said I felt flushed for you?” To her, this was a serious question and she didn't use her usual roleplay cover up or cat puns that would plague the other person's chat log. For a while, she hadn't receive a response. And then suddenly, it appeared in a mass of gray angry text. “HAHA VERY FUNNY NEPETA. YOU ALMOST GOT ME FOR A SECOND BUT ALAS, I AM NOT A FOOL.” His tirade continued on and on, gray text popping out line after line, never giving her a chance to respond. Of course, she had the potential to try to respond as fast as she could but she was a bit busy reading his replies. His replies were long and detailed, effectively transitioning from insults directed towards her to subtle self-depreciation of himself. That was the first time she felt her blood pusher clench in pity for Karkat Vantas, a person she had never even met face-to-face. 

After that little event, they never mentioned anything about a possible relationship between the two of them. And Nepeta was fine with that, albeit, still a little curious and sad. She knew that what she felt at that one moment was surely pity, but what she wasn’t sure about was whether it was pale pity or flush pity. Either way, she didn’t want to see that kind of reaction again, especially from Karkat. All it did was make her pity the troll even more. But she hadn’t completely fallen for him yet, no. After all, she was still exploring with the idea of troll romance and it would be too early to try to figure out the differences between pale, flush, and platonic pity. Just for the sake of gaining more knowledge about quadrants and her own feelings, she absorbed herself more in troll romance; a fascinating topic for her, she concluded. And although she was still an inexperienced judge of relationships, she began to keep a shipping chart designed specifically for the people closest to her on trollian. Her chart started out small, but before she knew it, her wall was littered with potential couple after couple, all based on relationships she saw on screen. And, admittedly, she did think about her and Karkat getting into the red quadrant more than a couple of times, though she never mentioned it to him. It was only a crush that was entirely too one-sided, seeing as how his attitude towards her never changed in the slightest in their chat logs. This led her to believe that it would pass, that she would move on and find another knight in shining armor. After all, she was still a young troll, and she had her whole life ahead of her; no need for her to start looking right now, right?

Of course, that plan had bursted into flames long after Sgrub, a literal world-burning game, came into play. Besides, it was going to be hard to search for the perfect troll when there wasn’t a single troll left on their planet. There were, however, twelve remaining trolls in probably, what seemed to be the rest of the universe. And Karkat just so happened to be one of them. He was also the one who seemed to be the most isolated of the bunch as well. Now, she knew that Karkat didn't exactly used to live in a secluded forest like she did, but there was still this sense of isolation that she felt from him; something that was different from their other troll friends that came with them to the world of Sgrub. She knew it the moment she saw him and this time, she was sure she felt flushed for him.

Karkat obviously had some other charming features about him, like leadership qualities and honesty, but he always seemed to be hiding something from all of them. Well, everyone except Terezi. Somehow, it seemed as though Terezi always knew what Karkat was going to do, how he always felt, and what he needed. She was the closest to him, both in mind and even when it came to physical contact. And Nepeta couldn’t help but feel a little envious about that. 

Nepeta was the first to notice a dynamic change in Karkat’s and Terezi’s relationship during the game. Subtle as it was at first, she saw enough romance flicks to know where their relationship was heading towards. She saw the hints through the way they interacted, and it became clearer after Karkat exposed that he was a mutant-blood; the way that she seemed to encourage him made Nepeta believe that Terezi had given Karkat the courage to come out of his shell. She knew that she would never be able to do the same, no matter how sad the thought made her. It was the truth, and the truth was that she will never be able to be the one there for him. 

_ That day, deep in your eyes, I saw the loneliness. _  
_ Are the two of us really alike? _  
_ If you'd realized it, I was always by your side. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me a while! I've been kinda busy and under a lot of writer's block so I never got enough motivation to finish this short fic for a while. It might suck, it might not, you decide. Anyways, this chapter was inspired by the song Myself by Changin' My Life. It goes through the lonely life of one Nepeta Leijon and her unrequited flush crush on Karkat, who also appears to be just as lonely as her, if not more. Thanks for reading!


	10. You Are My Love - RoseMary

10: **You Are My Love - RoseMary**

Rose’s life flashed before her very own eyes as she tumbled through the air at an alarmingly accelerating pace; lightning strikes of a past which could never be recovered in this world. Perhaps, in a parallel universe, but never again in this decaying planet of rotten societies. After all, Kanaya was dead, and she too, will follow. 

Rose allowed her eyelids to flutter shut as she clung almost desperately to the fading memories within her conscious. She recalled a time where things looked brighter, a time where the two of them could laugh and joke around with each other. There was a time where all they had to worry about was finding the utmost quintessential outfit for a prom dance. That was how they had met, and since then, they grew closer and climbed their way through the echeladder of platonic relationships. In short, they were partners in crime who looked out for each other, “besties” as some would call it. However, not too long after graduating high school, a new group, the Zero Tolerance, formed and grew quickly in power. It wasn’t long before they had the entire government in the palm of their hands, seducing and convincing the higher ups that their ideals would be the best for the society. Of course it wasn’t. If it was, then the war between ZT and the resistance would have never started and so many innocent lives would have never ceased to live. 

It was the loss of their mothers that finally bonded Rose and Kanaya together, in a way that most certainly surpassed the boundaries of platonic love. Their mothers both protested against ZT and died in the process, living an honorable life to the very end. When she heard of the news, Rose had nearly exploded from a furious vengeance and Kanaya was the only one who was able to stop her from walking straight into death. She could remember that day so very clearly, as if it had happened just recently. She remembered that fierce, hot anger coursing through her body and the grief that accompanied it. Along with it, she could remember a calm, hushed voice whisper in her ear and thin arms wrap around her trembling frame. Kanaya was the only one who could stop her and bring her into a calm. But she was gone now; taken away just like their mothers’ were and the right to love was.

They were both in a resistance, and in a secret relationship, by the time they reached their twenties. They resisted with all their mights, became mindful about how they went about in their relationship, and always got away with their love escapades with the help of Roxy and Porrim. That is, until Kanaya was caught by the ZT and trialed as guilty, sentenced immediately to neutralization. Everyone knew that usually ended in death and, no matter how hard Rose begged the gods in the skies, Kanaya’s case was no different. 

Rose became deeply involved with the resistance then; not for her own sake, but for the sake of treasuring whatever little she had of Kanaya in her heart. She did whatever little things she could do; posting flyers at night, sneaking pamphlets into the pockets of passing civilians, and even painting graffiti on the walls of a ZT based club shelter. She was caught nearly 10 years later, pasting posters on the high school she used to attend at, by a ZT administrator. Pursued by the opponent, she reached to the very top of the building and with all of the courage she held inside, jumped off at the top, falling to what she knew was immediate death. She knew that if she was caught, she would have been forced into telling the ZT about the resistance and who else were in it, but that just wasn’t the way Rose worked. Her loyalty and faith in the resistance that she held in her heart were based heavily upon the deaths of those closest to her and there was no way she would ever betray their trust like that. She also felt a need to protect their siblings as best as she could, and that included never letting a single name slip past her mouth. So it was either tell and live to regret it, or die. She chose the latter.

At that moment, with her eyes closed and the wind whipping at her clothes and hair, she felt as if she were in a dream and a wave of frightening calm coursed through her body. She was about to be freed from the world and possibly, if there was an afterlife, she could reacquaint herself with Kanaya once again. She had missed her far too much these past few years.

A smile graced Rose’s lips as she neared the ground. Just a few seconds more and she would be flat against asphalt. But for the time being, she reveled in her memories, as faded as they were. Because Kanaya was her love, and soon, her love would come to meet her in the gates of death.  
_____

Perhaps, in another world, they’ll meet again; in a world where love is tolerated and not determined at adulthood. In a world where death and resistance were not the only things that bonded their hearts together. In a place where they could soar and share neverending memories of their past.

 _The music from our childhood_  
_Faintly echoes in the background_

_ With these tiny wings, launched by my dreams _  
_ Over distant oceans and skies _  
_ We'll soar together _  
_ To a place where memories never fade _

_ I miss you so much _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was inspired by You Are My Love, sung by Yui Makino, and by The Silenced, a dystopian novel by the author James DeVita. This story happens during the Millennium War before the AYLR and the White Rose are formed. Perhaps, Rose might even be the White Rose that inspired Marena and Marena's mom so much (haha probably not). Anyways, the basic synopsis is that Rose goes through her memories as she's falling to her death. Kudos to her for not freaking out about things like jumping off a building.


	11. Hello, Planet - Jade Harley

11: **Hello, Planet - Jade Harley**

The day Jake died was a distant memory for Jade, a memory of pain and cascading tears. Though it was in the past, whenever she thought of his death, a pang of sorrow would wrack through her body. It was a painful feeling, one that came despite her deepest wishes. 

Boy, it sure was a pain to be programmed with human feelings.

Built in a mechanical body with an installed heart, Jade was unlike any other. She wasn’t a robot, yet, she couldn’t exactly be labelled as a human either. Rejected by both societies, Jade was labelled as an outcast and never gained a home of her own. The only person who was there for Jade was her creator, Jake. He taught her the basic necessities of life, including academics and the art of combat, in the span of his adulthood. Jake was the only one she completely trusted. But now, he was gone, and she was alone in the world.  
Jade tried to pass her time with small hobbies that she either learned from Jake or from the internet. She learned how to construct a building, how to play instruments, and how to create scientific mechanisms. She spent other hours trying to create an ending for the short stories in her notebook, or exploring her deserted island. In most cases, she would lose interest in the hobbies after a long period of time and result to spending long hours sleeping away the day. But she never lost interest in gardening. 

Despite years and years of gardening, she never once lost interest in it. After all, gardening was the first hobby that she had ever learned from Jake. She had all kinds of plants growing in her greenhouse, ranging from blue inca lilies (alstroemeria), to purple belladonna’s, to red birds of paradise. Pumpkins were also lined up against the interior of the greenhouse, surrounding the other blooming flowers as if trapping them inside. Only one plant was allowed to escape from the confines of the greenhouse; a single pot filled to the brim with soil and a solitary seed.

_‘It’s an Alyssum, Jade. It symbolizes grace, wonder, and merry vivacity. By golly, its’ resemblance to you, my dear, is uncanny!’_

Jade could almost hear the sound of Jake’s laughter, everyday, reverberating inside of her. Especially when she looked at the budding Alyssum sitting upon a small table across her bed. Years have passed since Jake’s passing away, and yet, the flower had not blossomed a single bud. It was disappointing to her, since she desperately wanted to see the plant that Jake had compared her to. She purposely avoided looking at the flower on the internet because she felt as though it would be more significant if she saw it in real life. It was Jake’s last present to her, a parting gift before he vanished from her life. Jade would only exhale wistfully at the plant before going through her daily trip of watering and taking care of each and every individual plant she had. It was no easy task, but she was a robot. She could easily do it in just a few moments. But she took her time, just for the sake of wasting time. 

Her life was empty, nothing to look forward to and never doing anything. She wished everyday for Jake to miraculously come back to life or to see him once more. She knew that her wishes were never granted because she would wake up the next morning staring at the budding plant, seeing no sign of a change. She was so desperately lonely and the amount of gardening she did everyday could only do so much. 

_I saw you there, silently laying at_  
 _Falling drop by drop, the tears create a sound_   
_Why does it hurt this much?_

_I have a lot of important things in my possession_   
_But this is the only one I kept holding until_  
 _It's the thing that you taught me of in the end_  
 _But the plant is still not sprouting from the pot today_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bluh, I feel as though this one isn't written as well as the others ( XP ). Sorry if it isn't ( ; u ; ). Anyways, this chapter is inspired by the song Hello, Planet sung by Miku Hatsune. This is more of a narration type instead of an actual story. Basically, Jade is built as a robot (that has human feelings) by the one and only Jake English. However, because she wasn't accepted anywhere, they moved to a deserted island where he taught her the basic necessities of life and the different types of things she could do while living. Of course, years pass by and he ends up leaving Jade (via death) with only a single Alyssum. (Did you guys notice that the flowers correspond to the Beta kids? I looked up "flower meanings" on the internet just so that it could have a more significant feel to it).


	12. Like, Dislike - DaveKat

12: **Like, Dislike - DaveKat**

Karkat Vantas had an undying hate for the one and only Dave Strider. Okay, maybe not just him, but his ‘cool kid’ type was a type that Karkat wished had never existed. Ahem, except maybe Sollux. Sollux was tolerable _sometimes_. Dave on the other hand, he couldn’t stand at all. Dave and his stupid wispy blond hair and completely flawless skin and freckles. Those goddamn freckles. Oh, and he was also too motherfucking popular. So why, out of everyone in the entire fucking school, did he have to choose Karkat to mess with? 

Karkat stormed angrily to his locker, his face flushed and his teeth gnashing painfully against each other. He was so sick of Dave, and his last antic didn’t make things any better. Cause there was no way that someone like Dave could ever feel anything remotely close to a stupid crush for Karkat. Nope, nada. It was just plain impossible.

Karkat could hear the Strider before he even turned around. “Karkat, I’m serious. This time, I’m really not joking around,” Dave said through puffs of breath. It seemed as though he ran to catch up with the steaming ball of fury that was Karkat, after he had strode away from Dave. But that was irrelevant.

Karkat ignored Dave and began making his trek to the entrance of their high school. He could hear the Strider follow after him. _‘Stubborn fucking piece of shit,’_ Karkat thought to himself. He tried to walk faster but Dave had no trouble keeping up with Karkat; he was, after all, taller than him.

A hand just barely grazed Karkat’s shoulder but that was enough to set him off. He wheeled around so fast, he nearly crashed into the pursuing blonde. “Don’t you fucking dare do so much as lay a finger on me Strider.” He glared up at Dave, staring into the darkness of Dave’s stupid Ray-Ban shades. Looking into those shades, he could barely see Dave’s eyes, which only made his fury grow stronger. 

Karkat could see Dave's eyebrows rise slightly above the shades, which gave him an indication that he was surprised. “Woah man, calm down. I just need to talk--” 

“Talk about what? Your undying love for me? Your completely false infatuation that you claim you have for me?? Well, you can go fuck yourself.” He paused for a second. “Actually, go suck a genetically mutated space horse's cock for all I care. Just leave me the fuck alone.” Karkat flipped him off and then turned around, signaling that he was done talking to the Strider. Then he made his way home without another hitch in the road.

______________

It was Saturday, a day that Karkat wished was everyday. Karkat despised school. He hated the people inside it (aside from his couple of friends), he hated the homework given to him, and he hated the teachers that would look down on him. And he really fucking hated bullies. If he had a choice, he would stay home from school every day of his life. But he was angry and stubborn and he knew those two assets together could do so many things. Including getting in trouble, but that was irrelevant. 

Without much in plan, Karkat got up from his comfy-as-hell bed and went to freshen himself up in the bathroom. Several minutes passed before he finished his morning routine. Afterwards, he searched around his place for something decent to eat and alas, he found nothing. Heaving a sigh, Karkat decided to head outside for a quick breakfast, grabbing his jacket and wallet on the way to the front door. Once he stepped outside, he couldn’t help the scowl that came over his expression; it was too motherfucking bright outside. Using one hand to shield his eyes, Karkat walked aimlessly for a little while, in search for an opened restaurant or cafe he could go to. Fortunately for him, there was, in fact, a newly opened cafe restaurant just a few blocks away. Karkat strode as fast as he could to the cafe, heading through a glass door and settling into an isolated booth. Slumping into his seat, he closed his eyes and breathed in the vague and distinct smell of freshly brewed coffee.

He only opened his eyes when he felt a presence take a seat next to him without his consent. “Sup Karkat.” 

A groan instantly made its way out of Karkat’s mouth before Dave had even finished his greeting. He slumped even more in his seat and facepalmed himself, rubbing his hands all over his face before looking up at the ceiling in dismay. “Of fucking course. It just had to be you, didn’t it?” 

“Aww Karkat, you offend me.” Dave placed a hand on his chest, mocking a hurt position. Karkat just rolled his eyes and scooted as far away from Dave as he humanely could. 

“What the fuck are you doing here Strider? I’m not in the mood to deal with your look-at-me-I’m-a-cool-kid schtick. Especially after your so-called ‘confession’ act you pulled off yesterday.”

“You’re never in the mood to deal with it, and besides, you know I’m pretty fucking cool,” he replied as he waved over a waiter. Karkat could only narrow his eyes at the Strider; the fucker had completely ignored his last sentence!

Karkat desperately wanted to escape from his new predicament. But he wasn’t crazy enough to go under the table to do it. Besides, the Strider would probably follow him anyway and he couldn’t risk him finding out where he lived. So he sat there, silently fuming as Dave ordered a coffee and breakfast set for two. Fuck, that means he was gonna be stuck here for a while. 

Glaring daggers at the blonde, Karkat crossed his arms over his chest. “Fuck Strider, I knew you were big but I never thought you'd eat two meals for breakfast. Captor would be impressed.” 

Dave looked over to Karkat with a blank expression. “Dude, Karkat, the second one’s yours.” 

Karkat just stared at him for a bit, a skeptical look on his face, before nodding slowly. “Uh huh. You’re buying me breakfast. Why the fuck are you buying me breakfast?”

Dave shrugged. “Figured you didn’t have any yet so I decided to get you some. You know, being the nice guy I am.” 

Karkat scoffed at that. “Dude, I have my own money, I don’t need your generosity Strider,” he said as he pulled out his wallet and opened it. The only thing inside was a note and a couple of cents. ( _sorry karkat! i really needed some money to buy a couple of pro pranking books + materials. i’ll repay you later! - ectoBiologist_ ) Karkat swore and glared at the note in his hand, muttering curses under his breath. 

Dave peeked at it, raising an eyebrow. “So, what was that about having money?”

Karkat turned his glare towards Dave. “Fuck you Strider. I bet you had this planned or some bullshit like that!”

Dave raised his hands up in a ‘no way’ position. “Woah, you’re pinning this all on me? Why can’t you just assume that you have really bad luck or something?” Karkat just flipped him off and ignored his question. They sat there silently for a bit before Dave opened his mouth again. “So, I’m assuming you’re gonna take the generous breakfast I bought for you?”

“Ha, generous, yeah right. There must be some kind of a catch to all of this. What did you want me to do, be your lackey for a week? Do all your bullshit homework for a weekend? Is that it??” 

“Honestly, both options sounds great, but no. I just want you to accompany me for just half of a day. Better than both of those right?” 

Karkat considered it for a second. Accompanying the Strider really did seem better than the other two options Karkat had just laid down on the table, but he still hoped that he could somehow get away with doing none of them. “How about you let me go. I mean, sure I’ll take the breakfast meal if you’re really offering it to me, but you at least won’t have to deal with a black eye or two on your way to wherever you’re going.”

Dave made a mock impression of him thinking about it. “Sure, but only if you leave the breakfast here with me and I can give it to one of my friends. Let’s see, since you mentioned Captor, I might as well give it to him.” Fuck, Sollux lived practically next door to Karkat. That meant that Dave could end up bothering him the whole way back to his house anyways. 

Karkat groaned into his palms, just as the waiter returned with two platters of freshly cooked breakfast. The savory aroma made its way to Karkat’s nostrils and he breathed it in, his mouth watering. Just then, Dave shifted, making it seem as though he was about to leave. “Well then, since you’re not going to accompany me, I might as well order this to go and walk to Captor’s house--”

Without his comprehension, Karkat’s hand reached out and tugged on Dave’s shirt. “Wait.” Dave complied and sat back down, waiting patiently for Karkat to come to a conclusion. A long silence was drawn out before he finally made up his mind. “....Fine. Just this once, I’ll accompany you to wherever you want to go.” Karkat could see Dave’s mouth tilt slightly up in that famous Dave smirk. He pushed a platter of delicious, heavenly breakfast towards Karkat and Karkat immediately began digging into it, saving his regrets for later. Having breakfast at his house was never as good as the breakfast in places like these. 

Nearly an hour flew by while the two were in the restaurant. Majority of it was spent eating breakfast and drinking coffee (on Karkat’s part), though there were conversations and debates here and there. By the time they left the restaurant, Karkat was fully relaxed around the Strider, which was a rare thing to happen. Of course, the only one to realize it was Dave, and not Karkat.

“So, where are you even planning to go anyway? I mean, I guess I’m cool with accompanying you and everything, but I don’t want to go head first into a mafia gang hideout or better, the mouth of a fucking lion.” Karkat was following the Strider, nearly beside him, as they walked in what seemed to be a random direction.

“You’ll see,” was the only thing that he got in return.

Karkat rolled his eyes at the side of Dave’s head. “Yeah, thanks, that helps a lot,” he said sarcastically. He still followed Dave as closely as he could, acting as though he knew where Dave was leading him.

They walked just a little more further before Karkat finally spotted a possible destination; the movie theatres. Karkat gave Dave a look. “A movie? You’re taking me to see a movie? Hell Strider, I’m not interested in any of the movies they’re playing at the moment.” 

Dave hesitated for a second before briefly patting Karkat’s shoulder. “This isn’t just any old movie theatre Karkles. This is a very special, and expensive, movie theatre that can feature a movie of any type on the big screen. Thought you might’ve enjoyed watching one of your rom-com movies in here or something.” 

Karkat’s eyes widened a bit before narrowing in suspicion. “Right. You want to see a rom-com with me.” He hesitated and looked down to the ground with a frown before looking back up to the Strider. “Dave… is this a date?” 

Dave’s face didn’t change in expression, but Karkat could see the slight tint of red on the blond’s ears. Dave turned towards Karkat with a somewhat embarrassed expression, which was a completely rare thing for Karkat (or anybody to be exact) to see. “I… really wasn’t lying yesterday, Karkat. I don’t joke about these things. I really, honestly, from the most sincerest part of my blood gushing heart, do like you. Not a best-friend like or an I-like-to-make-fun-of-you like, even though I do that often enough. I like you… Like how you like rom-coms. Or breakfast at cafe restaurants.” Wow, how cheesy. Who knew that Dave Strider, the most emotionless sac of shit to ever exist in the world, would end up stumbling over his words in a half-assed attempt to confess to someone like Karkat? 

Before Dave could get carried away with his lame and sappy confession, Karkat grabbed Dave’s arm and dragged him into walking to the theatres. “Yeah, yeah, fine, I get it. God, just shut up already Strider. You’re embarrassing me with your pathetic attempt at a love confession. Actors do it way more efficient than you.”

Dave looked over to Karkat as they walked. “Well there’s a dramatic difference between me and actors. I’m not an actor.”

“Yeah, no shit.” Karkat allowed a small grin to play at lips before pulling the Strider into a faster pace. “Now come on, there’s so many rom-coms for me to pick out; I can’t just choose only one!” The last thing he heard before entering the theatre was a groan of utter regret from Dave. And Karkat could only chuckle at the trailing blond behind him.

__________________________________

Maybe, just maybe, he didn’t hate Strider as much as he originally thought.

_ I like you, I don't like you, I don't know  
I don't like you _

_I really don't like your type_  
_Is that why I'm reacting so much?_  
_I see, so I suddenly got your sweet side and now I'm shaking and upset_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, been really busy with my final exams and final projects. Anyways, this is Like, Dislike featuring DaveKat! This chapter is inspired by the song Like, Dislike sung by the two Vocaloids Rin and Len Kagamine. Basically, Dave confesses to Karkat about his feelings, but he does it in an aloof way which makes Karkat believe that Dave is joking around with him to be ironic. The next day though, Dave chances upon Karkat and makes a last minute date plan that could hopefully win over Karkat's heart. Unsurprisingly, it works.


	13. Ave Mary A- Porrim/Roxy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Haha, it's been a long while since I've updated, hasn't it been? Sorry for that! I've been busy with vacation and writer's block and procrastination orz. Anyways, if you haven't read chapter 10, then you probably shouldn't read this, since this chapter is a continuation of that story. Hope you enjoy!

Ave Mary A - Porrim/Roxy

Sometimes, Porrim wished that she was the one who had been neutralized instead of Kanaya. Sometimes, she wished she wasn’t a part of the rebellion that caused her to lose her sister in the first place. Even as years passed by since Kanaya’s neutralization, nothing could break the feeling of hopelessness running through Porrim’s veins; the feeling that maybe she had lost her for naught. Hell, maybe rebelling in general was for naught. Porrim would never be able to tell.

Nearly 10 years had passed before Rose, Kanaya’s secret girlfriend, had passed away as well.

______________

It was towards the end of the day when Roxy came stumbling through her back door, drunk out of her mind and grinning a stupid smile. “Eyyy Porrey~ Haha, howaya?” She slurred her words as she clumsily closed the door behind her, locking it on pure instinct.

Porrim raised an eyebrow at her sudden appearance, slightly appraising her drunk demeanor. “Roxy, what on earth are you doing getting so dangerously tipsy like this? You know it is not safe,” she chided as she came forward to steady the wobbling woman. 

Roxy gave Porrim a childish giggle before throwing her arms around Porrim’s neck in a bone-crushing hug. “Weellll, today waz a preetty long day for me. Whas the problem with just a couple a’ drinks?”

Porrim only sighed and shook her head. She knew Roxy better than this; she knew that Roxy only drank to this level of intoxication if something was terribly wrong. Hoisting the lightweight female into her arms, Porrim carried Roxy to her main couch and sat her down with concern etched onto her face. “... Has something happened today Roxy?” 

A dark shadow fell across Roxy’s face almost instantly, despite her previously cheerful (although faux) appearance. She straightened herself out while putting on an almost business-like expression, even though she was greatly intoxicated. At first she didn’t answer and appeared as though she was trying to will herself to speak. “... Yes… That’s why I came here.” She took a deep breath and leaned back on the couch, closing her eyes and furrowing her eyebrows. “... Rose is dead Porrim. She jumped off a school building when a ZT administrator had discovered her posting rebellion pamphlets all over the place.”

Porrim’s eyes widened before her expression turned into one of pain. That was… truly unexpected. She never imagined that Rose would be departing from life before her or Roxy. The feeling was entirely too similar to when she had lost Kanaya. “I… I am sorry to hear that Roxy, truly. She was… a good person…” Porrim laid a hand on top of Roxy’s in an effort to comfort her despite her own disgruntled mix of emotions. A twitch was all Porrim got in reply.

A pregnant silence filled the space between them; the only sound that could be heard was the ticking of a clock. At times like these, she really, _really_ wished her mother was still alive. She knew that her mother was exceptionally splendid at knowing what to say during times like these.

Before Porrim could say anything solid, Roxy opened her eyes and looked Porrim right in the eyes, a fake smile plastered onto her face. “Haha, whatcha looking at me like that for Porrey? I’m completely fine~! Something like this could never phase me!” Roxy’s proclamation only made Porrim’s heart clench in unbearable pity. It was a feeling that she hadn’t felt for a while, however, this type of pity was on a new level of intensity. Without a single thought in her mind, she pulled Roxy closer, leaned in, and then kissed her right on the lips. 

The first thing that registered in her mind was that Roxy’s lips were soft and tasted of something akin to vodka. The second thing she noticed was that something wet began to slide down her cheeks, gliding slowly towards her chin as she gradually willed herself to pull away. Porrim opened her eyes slowly and looked at Roxy through her blurry tears before realizing what she had just done. An undignified squeak is all she managed as she drew further away from Roxy. “Oh! Oh dear, I-I apologize Roxy dearest! I don’t know what came over me when I did that. I truly, I am really sorry about that Rox…” She wiped her eyes and took a better look at Roxy, expecting a mortified expression and a raised palm. Instead, the sight that greeted her was the expression of a lost girl who had nothing left of herself. 

Tears gingerly slid its way down Roxy’s cheeks, ultimately alarming Porrim. She drew closer once again and gently brushed her hand against Roxy’s cheek. “Roxy, I…”   
Roxy blinked and shook her head as though she were coming out of a trance. She lifted a hand to her eye and rubbed at it, letting out a broken chuckle. “Ahaha, I’m… I’m crying, aren’t I Porrey. Heh, sorry ‘bout that, didn’t mean to mess up your moment of truth. Or, or to mess up right away on a mack. Haha, I, really didn’t deserve that Porrey, I-” A hiccup abruptly cut off Roxy’s sentence. At this point, Roxy curled in on herself as though she were trying to hide herself away. Seeing Roxy like this made the pity in Porrim’s heart grow deeper.

Porrim wrapped both arms around Roxy, drawing her into the best hug she could manage in their positions. She laid her head atop of Roxy’s and began to stroke her hair as gently as she could. “Shhh, Rox, shooosh,” she whispered into Roxy’s ears with a soothing tone. 

Roxy’s muffled cries grew louder in volume until her sobbing could almost be heard throughout her house. “I-- *hic* I couldn’t protect her Porrim! I should’ve gone with her or, or tell her *hic* that she shouldn’t do it. That it was too risky. I fucking failed Porrim. I failed!” She blubbered angrily to herself, wailing desperately in between each pause, just wishing that everything in the world could go away. And all Porrim could do was hold her arms steady over her shoulders and slowly lay comforting kisses to Roxy’s ears and cheek. She knew how Roxy felt; it was exactly how she had felt when Kanaya had gotten caught by the ZT. Back then, Roxy was incredibly strong and carried both Rose’s and Porrim’s weight from across the world and back. And now, it was her turn to return the favor. If that meant staying up all hours of the night and making sure that Roxy was taking care of herself, she would do it. She would do anything for Roxy. It was something she had promised to herself when Kanaya had died.

Thinking about Kanaya brought Porrim’s mind to the death of her mother. Although it had been at least 15 years since her death, she could still remember every emotion, every feeling she had when her mother was still around. She remembered her soothing voice and the feeling of her hands stroking her hair whenever she would come up to her mother crying. Now she was the one who had to soothe and stroke the hair of another. Oh, how times changed. Back then, her world was peaceful and quiet, now, the world is spinning madly out of control. The closest people to her are dropping like bricks and people are slowly becoming more in tune with the oppressive government. How did the world end up like this?

Sometimes, Porrim would wonder where her mother was. Was she floating above her, or did she make it into a peaceful afterlife? Perhaps she was fighting her own war in a different timeline or she could have been reincarnated into another person. Porrim would never be able to tell. But sometimes, in the darkest parts of her life, Porrim could almost hear her mother speak softly to her. Even as she held Roxy close with her wails still tragically pained-filled, she could hear her mother speak to her.

“Child, be still.”

_ Where did you go _   
_ How did you know to get out of a world gone mad _   
_ Help me let go _   
_ Of the chaos around me _   
_ The devil that hounds me _   
_ I need you to tell me _

_ Child be still _   
_ Child be still _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry for not updating all that much. This chapter is inspired by Ave Mary A by P!nk (the song that I actually have in my phone is Ave Maryam by Broadway Karkat but I'm just sticking to originals) and is the continuation of the day Rose died. Creys and comforts ensue as Porrim reminisces about her dead mother and makes a move on Roxy. It isn't stated in the fic but Porrim has had some type of feeling for Roxy ever since Kanaya died. She just ends up ignoring it up until now.


	14. Break Your Little Heart - AraVris

14: **Break Your Little Heart - AraVris, Araquius**

Aradia was a little bit more than messed up when she broke up with Vriska after their first year of college. It’s understandable; their relationship was built upon the tower of lies and secrets. Vriska, to practically everyone she dated in the past, was a deceitful bitch who had the charm of a leading actress and the heart of a demon’s adulteress. Aradia was the saviour for those people Vriska used. It was a simple task for Aradia; break her heart. But what she hadn’t accounted for was the thought that her own heart would be damaged in the process. However, she had one thing Vriska didn’t have; the ability to move on.  
__________  
(One year later)

It was a sweltering Friday night and the dorm was buzzing with energy and anticipation. The air was filled with the scent of Lupine as Aradia hummed cheerfully to herself. Shuffling back and forth to her closet and to the bathroom, Aradia was completely focused on what to wear for an upcoming end-of-the-school-year college party (hosted by one Feferi Peixes). Although she wasn’t necessarily the party type, she knew that a certain Equius Zahhak would be there serving as a bartender and that was enough to get her out of her comfort zone. God, the giddiness bubbling in her stomach made her feel as if she was back in high school again. 

After settling with a deep burgundy dress rimmed with black, she combed her messy locks and clipped an indigo hair-clip to the front of her bangs. Good enough, she thought to herself as she twirled playfully in front of a mirror. She laughed at herself before she went over to sit at the edge of her bed and picked up her phone. _‘ill be c0ming 0ver s00n! y0u better be ready by the time i get there s0llux’_ she texted a warning to her friend before grabbing her purse and heading out of her dorm room.  
__________

It didn’t take long for Aradia to get to Sollux’s dorm room. To her delight, Sollux was leaning on the door outside of the room and was properly dressed for the first time in a while. Well, as properly dressed as Sollux could be. He wore a simple black and white button-down shirt with his usual grey skinny jeans and his trademark 3D glasses. Gosh, what a nerd. At least he wasn’t wearing his Kirby shirt.

“Hello there Sollux! Wow, look at you, you’re actually wearing something decent and not one of your nerdy shirts!” Aradia grinned and cocked an eyebrow at him playfully.

Sollux glanced over at Aradia and rolled his eyes before ‘cooly’ pushing himself off his door. “Come on AA, who do you take me for? Why wouldn’t I be wearing one of my _nerdy_ shirts?” He smirked slightly at her as he pulled at the collar of his shirt, exposing the collar of another shirt that he wore under his button-down. 

Aradia could only shake her head and laugh. “Wow Sollux, you’re such a nerd!”

Sollux could only shrug in response. “But you still love me.”

Proving Sollux’s words to be true, Aradia went up to him and hugged his bony frame. “Well, that’s because you’re a lovable nerd~,” she teased and kissed his cheek before pulling away. “Anyways, shall we be going now?”

A groan escaped from Sollux’s mouth before he grudgingly began walking towards his car. Sollux was definitely not a party person _but_ Aradia knew that he was going to go even if he complained. He did promise her after all.

The whole ride was spent with idle conversations as Aradia chatted about how excited she was for the summer to Sollux. As Sollux slowed to a stop, Aradia looked around and saw that they were currently parked a couple blocks away from where the party was held. “Huh, time went by fast didn’t it?” She muttered thoughtfully to herself. 

Sollux smirked cockily at her. “Well, when you put it like that you sound like an old grandma.”

Aradia shook her head before attempting to put on the most grandma-like voice she had. “You better watch your tongue ‘dere mister. You never know what an old grandma can do to ya.”

His smirk widened. “Wow AA, sounds kinda kinky--”

Aradia laughed and smacked Sollux’s arm before he could finish. “Oh god Sollux, don’t say that!” She took a deep breath to calm down her bubbly nerves before exiting the car. “Come on Sollux, we don’t have all night!” With a grunt of acknowledgment, Sollux got out of the car as well. Aradia waited for him to come around before she linked arms with him and began walking to the party. 

Once they reached the front entrance, they were instantly greeted by waiters and waitresses dressed diligently in suits and dresses. Resisting the urge to gape at them, Aradia politely smiled and asked them for directions to the party room. Sollux… didn’t fare so well with the whole ‘not-supposed-to-gape-at-people’ thing. 

As they walked through the mansion to get to the main room, they could see just how rich and exquisite the Peixes mansion was, if that wasn’t obvious from just seeing the front of the house. They even had their own indoor swimming pool _and_ an outdoor pool! As soon as they made it to the main room, the all-too-famous Feferi Peixes came over to greet them.

“Sollux, Aradia, I’m so glad you made it! You guys all ready for the summer?” Feferi beamed at them.

“Yeah, I am!” “Yeah, I guess” Came the two different responses. Feferi just chuckled heartily at the both of them. 

“Haha, I’m glad! Also, I hope you brought your swimsuits because we might end up taking a dive in the swimming pool. Well, I mean, unless you plan on going skinny dipping.” Aradia and Sollux groaned in dismay (although Sollux’s was far less exaggerated than hers). A swimsuit! That was the one thing Aradia forgot to bring! She should have known though, since Feferi was the captain of their college swim team. “Mmm… well, judging by your guys’ reactions, I guess you didn’t bring any huh… Well, I have a few spare ones for Aradia but none for Sollux.” Then her face lit up and she gave Sollux a mischievous look. “Oh, but _Eridan_ might have a few for you Sollux!” 

Sollux looked at Feferi with slight suspicion, his body suddenly tensing up at the sudden mention of a certain Ampora. The same Ampora who may or may not have been another reason why Sollux came to the party. “Uh, no, I think I’m okay with not going swimming FF.”

Feferi chuckles at him before leaning in close and whispering a not-so-quiet, “Why, so you can watch Eridan swim half-naked? I bet he’d look really nice with water dripping down his torso and hair~.”

Aradia watched in amusement as Sollux’s face turned slightly pink, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to form a proper response. “I- no way FF, a douchebag like him? Hah, that’th a joke,” he lisped before cursing at himself. 

Chuckling slightly, Aradia went over and patted Feferi’s face. “Hahaha, I think that’s enough teasing for poor little Sollux there, don’t you think Feferi?” 

Feferi took a few steps away from Sollux before grinning innocently. “I’m only stating the truth and the truth never hurt anybody~,” she chimed. She turned to Aradia and pointed over at what seemed to be a random direction. “Also, before you ask, Mr. Zahhak should be in that general direction behind the bar. He might be a bit busy right now but if you wanted drinks, you know who to ask.” She winked at Aradia’s slightly pink face before mustering a serious expression. “And be careful, I saw Vriska come in earlier. Try not to get yourself in trouble with her, Aradia,” she warned before smiling again and turning to link arms with Sollux. “Now then Sollux, let’s go off to meet with one handsome Mr. Ampora!” 

Aradia stared at them in amusement as Feferi dragged Sollux away before setting out to where she saw Feferi point. True to her words, Aradia found where Equius was fairly easily. He was dressed in a bartender’s outfit with his hair up in a ponytail, working furiously to attend to everyone sitting in the nearby tables. Sweat softly slid down his broad face as he worked diligently and silently. Seeing him there made her heart swell, and she couldn’t help feeling glad that she came.  
__________

Aradia felt like she was floating on a soft cloud of bliss. The buzz of expensive wine and the smooth voice of Equius Zahhak made for a perfect combination, she thought giddily to herself. For a while, Equius had been able to take a long enough break to talk with Aradia. Even though it had been only 30 minutes, that was long enough to get Aradia in a perfectly tipsy and dreamy state before Equius reluctantly went back to work. She was left to herself, smiling and glowing a light pink color of delight. A tap on her shoulders and the sickly sweet voice of an all-too familiar woman was all it took to bring Aradia back to the real world.

“Aradia, fancy meeting _you_ here!” It was none other than Vriska Serket, dressed in a sleeveless cerulean thigh-slit dress and daunting red heels. In other words, her former roommate and ex. 

Vriska took a good look at Aradia, shifting her eyes up and down her entire figure before cracking a devious smile. “I honestly never pegged you as the party type Aradia!” she paused and flipped her hair before sending her a rather venomous grin. “Buuuuuuuut I guess you don’t really know someone until they break up with you.” Wow, what a great start to a conversation.

Aradia gave Vriska a blank stare, even though her thoughts screamed at her to get away. She knew Vriska was bad, she knew it from the very start. She only dated Vriska in order to get her to feel some kind of guilt for the things she’s done. It went almost perfectly; they dated, they talked, they fucked. But then Aradia caught Vriska snogging and grinding against some other guy on the night their first year of college ended. That night, Aradia forced herself to end the relationship, despite the feelings that developed when she was with the Serket. That was the worst beginning of summer Aradia ever had. The following months afterwards didn’t exactly have an upgrade either, especially since Vriska kept coming back to her. Vriska would relentlessly bother Aradia, sometimes forcing Aradia to snap on her and drive her out of the dorm room. Other times, she would flatter Aradia and tell her that she was her best experience with that seductive tone in her voice. Vriska would make bedroom eyes at her and slide her hands over Aradia's curves when she would least expect it. It was dangerous. _Vriska_ was dangerous. That became clearer when Vriska actually managed to get Aradia to agree to a one-night-stand that ended up becoming one too many. It pushed and distanced her from everyone that cared for her; not even Sollux could break through her. It was finally put to a stop when Aradia met Equius and fell in love with him. After that, she stopped having relations of any kind with Vriska and requested a room change that took her far away from Vriska. It was, perhaps, the best decision she had made since meeting her and she was glad for it. But now Vriska was back, standing in front of her again in all of her glorious deviousness.

“Helloooooooo? Anyone there?” Vriska waved a hand in front of Aradia’s unresponsive face. 

Aradia blinked and sighed at Vriska, slightly turning away from her figure. “What do you want Vriska?” She asked bluntly.

“What, can’t a girl just get her chat on with an old ex? I mean, it has been a good long while since we’ve talked to each other--”

“And I would prefer to stay that way.” She interrupted before turning her back away from Vriska in her stool, dismissing herself from the conversation. But Vriska didn’t let up and instead wrapped her arms around Aradia’s waist. Her lips brushed against the lobe of her ear, forcing a shiver to run down her spine. 

“I really miss you Aradia. I miss all the little things we used to do together…” She muttered against her ear, making it warmer than it should be. Aradia was frozen in place. Was she telling the truth? Was she lying? She couldn’t tell. The buzz of the alcohol swimming in her systems didn’t help her one bit. 

The feeling of Vriska kissing her ear made Aradia jolt against her will. Finally mustering enough strength to pull her shit together, Aradia tore herself away from Vriska’s arms and jumped off the stool to turn and face her. “No, stop it Vriska. I’m done with you. I don’t want to be with you anymore,” she declared, exhaustion lining her voice. Just being with Vriska for a few minutes was draining all of Aradia’s strength.

Vriska merely pouted before sitting on the chair Aradia was sitting on just a few seconds ago. “Why noooooooot? You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me Aradia. _The_ best thing.” Vriska paused and shifted, subtlety hiding one of her hands cleverly behind her back before drawing a cross over her heart with her other hand. “I swear it won’t end up like last time. I mean it.” She looked up at Aradia with the look of a broken puppy. 

The puppy dog expression was what gave it all away. She knew that look. She saw it every time her sister tried to convince someone to give her what she wanted, whether it was a gift, some cash, a relationship, or even just plain sex. And it was the exact same look Vriska had on her face as she looked up at Aradia, desperation just barely hidden in her eyes. It was the look of someone who had lost everything and didn’t know how to fix it.

Aradia’s exhausted expression gave way to one that was more pointed and analytical. In just a split second, she finally understood who Vriska was and what she was doing. Vriska was, in a sense, something akin to a spoiled brat who couldn’t help but play with other people’s feelings as if they were toys. And judging from the desperation hidden in the core of her cerulean eyes, Aradia could only guess that she had just lost her final toy. Now, she was just a little girl who sought comfort from the people who she ended up destroying. But Aradia wasn’t about to give that satisfaction to Vriska, not after everything she had done. No, she wouldn’t have learned anything like that. So, instead of giving Vriska what she wanted, she decided to give Vriska a taste of her own medicine.

Aradia stepped close to Vriska and leaned down so that their faces were mere inches apart from each other. “... I pity you Vriska,” she said coldly as she brought a hand to brush away a stray strand of hair on Vriska’s face. “You’re someone that had so much potential, yet here you are, withering away like a wilted bundle of Hydrangeas.” She paused for a second, staring down at Vriska’s puzzled face, before taking a huge gamble. “You actually loved me at one point, didn’t you?”

Vriska’s face turned a shade of red as her expression turned into one of appallment. She leaned away and averted her eyes from Aradia’s piercing gaze. “I- what are you implying Aradia? Hah, you sound as though you were playing me from the very start.” She snapped her eyes back to Aradia’s, uncertainty clouding her dark orbs of blue. “You… couldn’t have…”

All Aradia had to do was shrug. It wasn’t like Vriska was wrong after all. A look of disgust ran over Vriska’s features as she sharply stood up from the stool. “I can’t believe you! You, playing with _me?_ You’re not, you can’t have! I would’ve known for sure…” she trailed off uncertainly under Aradia’s daunting stare. At this point, people were starting to turn their heads and watch their little spat. 

A thin smile stretched over Aradia’s lips. “Well, you never really know a person until you break up with them,” she quoted Vriska. Vriska’s face flushed darker in anger. She fumbled with her words, trying to say something in return but the only thing she managed was a small ‘fuck you’ before she brushed past Aradia and briskly walked away, bumping shoulders with several others who were watching. Ha, it was as if she were a kid throwing a temper tantrum after finally being denied, _twice_ Aradia assumed, of a toy that they would have thrown away sooner or later. It was… amusing to say the least, if not a little pitiful.

Once Vriska disappeared from her sight, Aradia exhaled a breath she didn’t know she was holding and sat back down on her stool. She was _exhausted_ from the encounter. Satisfied sure, but mostly exhausted. Breaking hearts sure was tiring. For a brief moment, she wondered how Vriska could do it. How could she repeatedly manipulate, play, and break someone’s heart constantly? It just didn’t make sense to Aradia. And as she sat there pondering about Vriska’s ways, the sight of Equius striding towards her snapped her back to the real world. Seeing him made her relax considerably and she smiled at him. That’s right, she had won and that’s all that mattered. Vriska will never, ever reign over her again. And she intended to keep it that way.

_ You were fake _

_ I'm wasted, wasting time _  
_ I'm moving on but you're left behind _  
_ A pretty face but the chase ain't worth the prize _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahaha, it sure has been a while since I last updated huh? Sorry about that! I've been pretty busy with school so I haven't had much time to make more stories or post them up orz. Anyways, here's Break Your Little Heart (by All Time Low) featuring AraVris, AraQuius, and a very subtle (maybe not so subtle) mention of EriSol. Basically, Aradia and Vriska had dated in their first year of college and then broke up right before summer. They still continued to have sexual/romantic interactions, however, until Aradia finally meets Equius and decides to move far away from Vriska. This chapter takes place a year after they break up.


	15. I Don't Love You - KanVris

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeeeeeey~! Ehehehe, sorry for taking so long to post up a new chapter ^^;;. Writer's block hit me for a good long while so I hadn't touched my fic's in forever. Anyways, here's I Don't Love You which is a spin-off of Break Your Little Heart. However, this contains Kanaya's background with Vriska instead of Aradia's. Enjoy!

15: **I Don’t Love You - KanVris**

High school was the best and worst years of Kanaya’s life. To think that a single person would be the reason why her life could be so wonderful and yet so heart wrenching at the same time boggled Kanaya’s mind. It was unfathomable, an occurrence that Kanaya didn’t think was possible for her. And yet, she couldn’t deny that Vriska, the source of her joy and pain, was the only who could make her feel as though she were both floating in zero gravity and plummeting into an endless abyss.

As Kanaya laid on the mattress of her bed waiting for the text of a very important person, a multitude of memories rushed through her mind. Closing her eyes, she let the memories take form in her mind and allowed herself to slowly sink into them, giving herself the chance to mindfully think back on the past. It was emotionally difficult but Kanaya knew that times like these, where silence permeated the room and memories flooded her thoughts, were rare in her busy life.  
__________

Kanaya’s and Vriska’s relationship was incredibly bittersweet; it was filled with sweet, rich chocolate and the taste of Vriska’s venomous lips. When Kanaya and Vriska were dating. there would be times where Vriska would hug Kanaya tightly and kiss her forehead sweetly, and then there would be times where Vriska wouldn’t respond to a single text from Kanaya for days at a time. Every time that happened Kanaya would feel empty. Sometimes, she would feel tempted to tell someone close to her about her relationship with Vriska and get advice for how to deal with things. But she could never bring herself to, partly because she felt as if she shouldn’t bother them with her troubles, but also because it was a secret between the two of them. _‘Our relationship is our very own secret; you can’t tell a single person.’_ Vriska would always whisper to Kanaya with a smile, her index finger pressed against her lips. That was always enough to keep Kanaya’s mouth shut. Even when she heard rumors of Vriska engaging in secret relationships with multiple people at once, she couldn’t bring herself to tell anyone about their relationship. All she could do was tell herself that they were wrong, she knew her better than anyone else. But whenever she saw Vriska take off into a classroom with another person, sometimes she couldn’t help but wonder. Of course she never went to go check; the thought that Vriska could actually be cheating on her scared Kanaya deeply. She wasn’t ready to go just quite yet.

It was only when she saw Vriska walk into a ‘special’ classroom with her classmate, Eridan Ampora, did Kanaya question herself. That classroom was the one that Vriska would take her to in secret, and they would spend a few minutes in there just kissing and holding each other without anyone bothering them. So why was Vriska taking Eridan into it? 

Kanaya was terrified of losing Vriska; so terrified that she actually went and bought her gifts just to appease Vriska as much as possible. She would relish the smile Vriska would show her and allow herself to relax when Vriska would spend the rest of the day with her. If she was lucky, she would have Vriska for more than just a couple of hours. In most cases though, Vriska would go back to Eridan the next day and ignore Kanaya’s pleading texts. It drained the life out of Kanaya.

Everyday was a mystery to Kanaya. Who would Vriska spend her time with, her or Eridan? Or, perhaps, whenever she didn’t spend her days hanging off of their shoulders she would end up at a different person’s house. As Kanaya inquired this possible factor, she began to question her level of sanity. Why would she stay with Vriska if she knew what Vriska did when she wasn’t with her? It didn't make any sense to her. All it did was make Kanaya feel even more lonely and needy for her attention. What an ironic curse.

Sometimes, Kanaya would spend hours lying on her bed, wishing she had never fallen for the spider queen; now, she was trapped and dancing to the beat of Vriska’s devilish heart. It was impossible to try to break free from the venomous spell she had on her. All she could do was try to win Vriska over. But even then. after a decent amount of time passed, it became painfully clear to Kanaya that she would never be able to win Vriska over, especially on matters of money. Seeing Vriska clad in jewelry and expensive brands of clothing gave Kanaya a sense of loss. Eridan was, after all, much more affluent than Kanaya would ever be. Again, she questioned herself. Even though Vriska ignored all of her pleading cries and always ended up finding some way to pummel Kanaya’s hurting heart, why would she ever try to win her affections? 

Her question would always answer itself whenever Vriska would drop by unannounced. It was always a surprise, but Kanaya didn’t mind it because it meant that she would get Vriska all to herself for a good long while. Sometimes they would spend their time doing something innocent, like cuddling and playing the occasional PC game. But sometimes they would spend their time doing something… a little less innocent. Vriska would whisper sweet nothings in Kanaya’s ear as her hands roamed and made Kanaya’s head fuzzy with heat. She would kiss her ever so softly on the lips and Kanaya would reciprocate, grabbing desperately onto Vriska’s body as she allowed Vriska to slowly eat her up, like a moth trapped in the confines of a spider’s web. It was a terrible, unhealthy addiction she had.

For nearly 2 years, this was what Kanaya endured. She had an unhealthy on-and-off relationship with Vriska that made her heart flutter and ache at the same time. It was only until she caught Vriska blatantly snogging the face of a reluctant and meek boy did she finally start to feel a bitter resentment towards Vriska. Gathering up willpower, she had stormed over and cleared her throat loudly, gaining the attention of both boy and girl. The boy’s face reddened instantly and he stammered for a bit before scrambling away on his clumsy feet. Turning her attention back to Vriska, she gave her a cold stare.

Vriska turned to her, matching her stare with a bored expression. She shrugged nonchalantly and stated, “What? I was just trying to teach him the basics of kissing. Poor guy never kissed anyone before.” 

Silence hung bitterly in the air for a long moment before Kanaya’s voice cut through it like a deathly sharp knife. “So I see…” She said with a calculating tone. 

Vriska sighed dramatically before a look of guilt passed over her features. “Look Kanaya, I’m sorry. I never meant for you to see that! It was just gonna be a one-time thing where I, you know, taught him how to kiss others.” She shoved one hand in her pocket and flashed her an innocent smile before drawing a cross over her heart. “I swear.” 

Kanaya didn’t miss the crease of crossed fingers in the front of Vriska’s pockets.

For another month, Kanaya still got together with Vriska despite the growing fury of emotions coiling around her heart. Eridan came around Vriska less and less but she saw the boy, Tavros, attempt to excuse himself away from Vriska more than just a couple of times. It was a pitiful sight, but at least they were never really alone. That way, Vriska wouldn’t be able to do anything much to Tavros.

As Vriska’s attempts to get closer to Tavros became more frequent, Kanaya could feel the resentment slowly building up inside of her. She vowed to herself that when or if she caught Vriska once more, she would end it right there no matter who was there. This had went on far too long.

In the end, she didn’t have to bother with how their story finished; Vriska did it all by herself. It was a quiet day, with the streets coated with powdery snow and the town blanketed with the buzzing anticipation of Valentine’s Day. It was that day when Vriska took Kanaya to an isolated cafe and declared that ‘she just wasn’t interested in her anymore’ before patting her shoulder unsympathetically and walking out into the pure snow. It was the perfect ending to her sad, miserable one-sided love. 

Kanaya sat there, processing the inevitable event as a sense of shock, denial, and relief flooded her thoughts. It was something she expected and had even wanted, but she couldn’t help but feel as though something inside her vanished. Whether it was her barely existent self-esteem or her sense of pride, she couldn’t tell. All she knew was that she had lost a battle she desperately tried to win.

Grabbing her purse and her frappucino, she went to the exit and grabbed the handles of the door. Before she had make her exit though, someone came barging through and accidently bumped into the cup Kanaya was holding onto, making the drink spill over Kanaya’s coat. As Kanaya stumbled backwards to avoid crashing into the woman who appeared out of thin air, she tripped backwards on her heels and landed square on the floor, spilling even more of her frappucino onto herself. The woman who appeared instantly apologized before she dug into her purse and pulled out a silk handkerchief, extending her hand forward to dab at the stains on her coat. 

Kanaya never knew why, but for a moment, everything became clearer; the air, the sting of pain on her behind, and even the slight chilly breeze blowing in through the slightly ajar door. But nothing was clearer than the brilliant violet orbs that stared down at her in concern, for they shone like the most richest of amethysts. The more she looked into them, the more she got lost in them. 

That was the day she met Rose Lalonde. 

__________

The buzzing vibration in Kanaya’s hand jolted her back to reality. With a gentle smile, she read the text from her violet-eyed girlfriend. _‘I’m off work now. Are you ready?’_ It was the 2nd anniversary since they began dating. This time, Kanaya knew that her relationship with Rose wasn’t fake; she knew it from the way Rose’s warm hand would envelope Kanaya’s and the way she smiled at her when they talked about trivial things. It was… different from the relationship she had with Vriska. Different, but nice.

As Kanaya sat up on her bed, she texted Rose back. _‘Yes, I Am Waiting. Be Careful Out There Rose It’s Snowing Again.’_ A sigh of contentment escaped her lips as she stared wistfully out of her window. It was just 5 years ago since Vriska broke up with her. Despite all the hurt she suffered when it happened, she couldn’t help but be grateful for it as well. Without the break up, she wouldn’t have been able to find another way. Even when Vriska wanted Kanaya back after the drama with Aradia just last summer, she gently refused and told her that she already found her true path. Vriska lost her chance the moment she went away. And Kanaya couldn’t help but be thankful to her for that.

_ Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading _   
_ So sick and tired of all the needless beating _

_ Well, when you go _   
_ Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay _   
_ And maybe when you get back _   
_ I'll be off to find another way _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic was inspired by I Don't Love You by My Chemical Romance. In short, Kanaya dated Vriska in high school, found out it was a toxic relationship, still dated her, and then was ultimately dumped, leading her to find a happier and healthier relationship with the one and only Rose Lalonde. I'm actually planning to make this a sort of story set where Vriska ruins some people's lives by dating them which in turn actually helps them find other relationships where they can be happier (all in the same universe). You already saw Aradia's story (in college) and Kanaya's story (in high school), but there's still a few after that that take place either in college or high school. And then those stories may or may not have a little spin-off of a story afterwards. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this story!


	16. Christmas Fever - EriSol

16: **Christmas Fever - EriSol**

“Achoo!” 

Sollux shuddered violently and turned his face away from his laptop’s illuminating screen, making extra sure to not get any spittle on the brightly lit monitor. Grimacing in disgust at the snot that clung annoyingly to his nose, Sollux reached behind his laptop and grabbed a handful of tissues. God, why did he have to get sick now of all times? 

Glancing back at the document splayed across the screen of his laptop, Sollux wiped the snot off his nose, tossed the tissues in the trash, and settled his hands back onto the keyboard. Without hesitation, Sollux continued working furiously without a hitch, his bony fingers clacking lightly against the silver keys. He had been pulling all-nighters for this coding commission and he wasn’t going to stop now just because he was getting sick. Thankfully, he was already close to finishing up the commission before he realized he was sick. Or at least he thought so. In truth, he really didn’t know how long he had been sick for. He wasn’t really the type to care much about his health, especially if no one was there to physically remind him. Usually his pretentious ass of a boyfriend, Eridan, would be the one to barge in and yank him off his computer one way or another. But since Eridan was at a two week winter vacation with his family, he wasn’t here, so technically Sollux could do whatever he wanted. Ha. That didn’t make him miss Eridan any less. 

Thoughts of Eridan began flooding Sollux’s senses and a pang of loneliness hit his chest, forcing his hands to a stop. For a moment, he thought he could smell the familiar scent of vanilla and lavender wafting from just over his shoulder. Or feel the brief sensation of Eridan's finger tips trailing softly down the back of his neck. Or hear the irritation in his voice whenever he uttered Sollux's name, as if it was such a pain to even say that one syllable. Shaking his head, he sighed and reprimanded himself. Now wasn’t the time to feel nostalgic. Eridan would be home in a day or two and Sollux couldn’t waste any more time with the code that was assigned to him. Not if he wanted to spend Christmas with Eridan without having to worry about his coding commission.With that in mind, Sollux began typing once again.   
____________________

**Several hours later**

Sollux pushed back from his laptop and groaned, leaning his head on the back of his swivel chair. After hours upon hours upon _hours_ of writing that stupid code, he was finally done.

Sollux glared up at the ceiling, and muttered, “Goddamn stupid client. Why did he decide to give me a commission right before Christmas? Just because I’m a pro-coder doesn’t mean I don’t have a life…” 

With a sigh, he closed his eyes and allowed himself to relax. “Well, at least I have enough money to take Eridan out for dinner…” It was the least he could do since he wasn't able to buy him a Christmas present in time.

Thinking about Eridan brought Sollux back to the real world. With a start, Sollux leaned over and checked what day it was. “Huh, it’s already the 23rd? Eridan should be home soon then,” Sollux noted. A tender warmth spread over Sollux’s chest, making him feel the most giddiest he’s ever been in a long time. After two weeks, he was finally going to see Eridan again. The thought itself brought a smile to his lips. Sollux stretched in his chair and decided since Eridan was gonna be home that day, he might as well take a shower and freshen up. He couldn't imagine how he looked like. 

After stretching and hearing every joint in his body pop, Sollux got up from his chair. And immediately stumbled to the ground. Dizziness and nausea washed over him like a sudden tidal wave, making his stomach churn uncomfortably. Oh shit, he was sick, wasn’t he? Dammit, how could he forget? 

Groaning in mild pain and irritation, Sollux forced himself to get up and held himself upright against his desk. Great, this was just what he needed, to be sick on Christmas Eve right before his boyfriend comes back home. Just his luck. He muttered bitter complaints to himself before forcing himself to tough it out. It was just a cold after all, it’s not like it would kill him. He could always just pop some medicine and take a nap after eating some food. It sounded like a plan to him.

Sollux trudged out of the darkness of his room and into the brightly lit living room. He made a face at the sudden exposure to light and squinted against the searing rays of sunshine that slipped through cracks of white window curtains. Even though the light was filtered through curtains, it still seemed as though the sun was shining directly into his face. With a groan of annoyance, he realized his head was starting to throb, eliciting him to move into a place with a lot less sunshine; the bathroom. The first thing he did was check on his appearance and, god, was it horrible. His face was pale with fatigue and feverishly flushed at the same time. The heterochromatic eyes that stared back at him in the mirror were bloodshot and ringed with dark circles from lack of sleep. His shaggy hair was shaggier, and longer, than the last time he looked in the mirror and the clothes that clung to his body were frazzled and wrinkled. When was the last time he took a shower? He couldn’t remember.

Sollux freshened himself up in the bathroom, making his appearance a lot less ghastly than it was just moments before. If he wanted to greet Eridan face-to-face without getting yelled at immediately, he was going to have to at least look decent, even if he felt like shit. After he was done, he went to the living room and noticed that barely anything had been touched since the last time Eridan was home. Grumbling under his breath, Sollux sluggishly went around his apartment and picked up dishes, discarded pieces of paper, and clothes that were unceremoniously tossed onto the ground. He made another round cleaning dust off the tables and chairs, sweeping the floorboards, vacuuming the black-specked carpet, and washing those same dishes he just put in the sink. When he was done, he overlooked the place and nodded approvingly. In just under two hours, he managed to clean the place up pretty good. Heh, Eridan would’ve been proud. 

A wave of exhaustion overcame him, making him sway slightly under the light of the sun streaming through the still blindingly bright window curtains. It didn’t help that the throbbing sensation poking against the back of his head was slowly getting stronger with each passing moment. It was obvious that he was going to have an attack soon but he hoped to god that it would come after Christmas. He didn’t want his first Christmas with Eridan to be a mixture of pain and depression.

With a breathy sigh, Sollux slowly trudged back to his sanctuary. Maybe he could catch a nap before Eridan came. Maybe napping would keep the inevitable migraine attack at bay. Maybe he’d finally be able to take Eridan out to eat at an expensive restaurant with his newly attained cash. Maybe he should just stop thinking and get to sleeping.

As Sollux sprawled out onto his bed, the pain that gnawed at his brain spiked. “Shit, fuck, medicine. I forgot my medicine…” He forced himself to get up from his bed but the torment his mind was going through became too much. It wasn’t long before Sollux found himself falling forward, straight towards the ground who welcomed him with open arms.  
____________________

**Eridan - A couple hours later**

Eridan knew something was wrong when he knocked on the door of his own apartment and didn’t hear anything. It’s not like he couldn’t hear at all, he could hear just fine. However, usually, whenever he went on long trips and came back home, Sollux would always be there shuffling around to get the door opened for Eridan. But not this time.

Clicking his tongue in slight irritation, he dug out his keys and popped it into the lock, twisting it in a familiar notion. The door clicked open and he walked in with a frown. “What the hell, Sol. I knock on the door and you decide to ignore it? I can’t believe you would just leave me hangin’ there like that-- Sol?” The harsh tone of irritation broke into confusion and worry. The place was nearly spotless (and he was pretty impressed by that honestly) but there was no sign of Sollux. With a raised eyebrow, Eridan walked over to Sollux’s room and peered into the slightly ajar door. What he saw made his heart stop.

Sollux was splayed out on the floor unceremoniously, motionless and deathly quiet. 

“Sol?!” Eridan exclaimed, his voice wavering as his mind raced with countless worst-case scenarios. He dropped his traveling bags to the ground and rushed over to him, kneeling so that he could turn Sollux around and pull his limp body into his arms. He quickly surveyed the carpet around Sollux and thankfully there didn’t seem to be any blood. He checked around Sollux’s throat for a pulse and sighed in relief when he found one. “Oh, thank goodness, he’s still alive…” Eridan muttered breathlessly, feeling the tightness in his chest ebb away. _‘What an idiot. Can’t believe he’d fall asleep here of all places. What’d he do, get a headache and decide taking a nap on the floor is better than taking a nap on a bed? Jesus Sol, the bed is two feet away.’_ The thoughts swimming around in Eridan’s mind bordered on playful contempt, but he could tell something was off. He just didn’t know what.

Eridan shook Sollux lightly, trying to awaken the Captor. “Hey, Sol. Sol, I’m home,” he cooed softly, watching Sollux’s face for a reaction. When he saw none, he tried again and shook him harder. “Hey, Sol, Wake up.” No response. 

Slowly, like tar dripping down an abyss of darkness, Eridan’s fear crept back into his stomach. “Sol? Come on, wake up. This isn’t funny,” he repeated. He could literally hear the dread trickling into his voice and he cursed at himself mentally. Maybe Sollux was just really tired and needed a little more incentive to wake up. He should really stop thinking of the worst possible scenarios.

Eridan brought a hand up to pinch at Sollux’s cheek, trying to wake him up from his slumber. As soon as his fingertips touched Sollux’s face, though, Eridan flinched. Holy fuck, Sollux’s face was scalding hot. Was he sick? If he was, how sick was he? Eridan hoped to god it wasn’t deadly. But when Sollux was unresponsive to everything Eridan did to him, he couldn’t help the panic that slowly clouded over his mind. After more than several attempts, Eridan finally decided to resort to his last option.

Eridan took a deep breath to calm his trembling hands and crawled over to his bag, rummaging through it for the slip of paper containing Sollux’s personal doctor’s number. He dialed the numbers onto the screen on his phone and held it up to his ear, tapping his knee agitatedly. It didn’t take long for the doctor to answer.

“Hello--”

“Doc, there’s somethin’ w-wrong w-with Sol!” Eridan interrupted the doctor’s greeting with his panicked voice. Immediately, there was an audible change of tone from the usually jubilant doctor. 

“Wait, slow down, what’s wrong with Sollux?” The doctor asked, his tone serious and laced with concern.

“He just- I don’t know-w! I came home just recently and he just,” Eridan’s voice broke, “He just w-won’t w-wake up. I think he might be sick but I don’t know-w how-w sick…” Eridan could hear shuffling in the receiver and could only assume that the doctor was writing something down. 

“Okay. Eridan, I’m going to need you to be calm. Can you do that?” the doctor inquired with a soothing voice.

“I- I don’t know-w, I-” Eridan gulped in air, realizing that his panic was slowly taking control of the logical part of his brain. He took a few breaths and focused on his breathing for a few seconds before replying. “I- yes, I can be calm doc. W-what do you need me to do?”

“Okay, I need you to take Sollux to the hospital. Are you composed enough to drive?” 

“I-I don’t know…” Eridan admitted sincerely. He certainly was strong enough to carry Sollux to the car but the only problem was driving. When he was agitated he would always end up making the wrong choices and he couldn’t risk that with Sollux deathly ill and unconscious in the car with him. If he were to swerve and get into an accident or something like that, he would never be able to live with himself.

“If you need to, you could potentially call the hospital for a stretcher and transportation, but I can’t trust that the hospital will know that he needs to be taken to me, even if you tell them. However, if you can’t drive him here, that is the only option left,” the doctor calmly explained. 

Eridan considered his choices before taking another deep breath. “W-well, I know where to take him so I should be okay driving him,” he said as confidently as he could. 

Eridan could hear a sigh of relief coming from the doctor. “Good. Please, be quick.” He paused before relaying, “And please, do bring his medicine. He may need that when he wakes up.” Eridan was glad he didn’t mention the ‘if’ in that sentence. He can’t handle the thought of Sollux never waking up again.

“Okay, doc,” Eridan said and ended the call.  
____________________

**A few hours later**

When Eridan brought Sollux to the clinic, all he could do was wait for the doctor’s evaluation. His mind was racing with horrible possibilities no matter how many times he tried to stop it from popping up in his head. What if Sollux never woke up? What if he continued to be in a comatose state? He should’ve never gone on that trip home. If he hadn’t gone, Sollux never would have fainted and they’d be perfectly happy at their apartment sharing cups of hot cocoa and cuddling comfortably on their couch. But he _had_ went and now Sollux was deathly ill and oh no, what if he died from a serious illness or from pneumonia and--

“Eridan?” A soothing voice called out to him, snapping Eridan out of his thoughts. It took Eridan a minute to realize that the person who addressed him was the doctor himself. 

The doctor gave Eridan a gentle smile and walked over to him. Smiles are good right? Did that mean that Sollux was okay? Confirming Eridan’s thoughts, the doctor happily said, “It turns out that Sollux’s condition is not as serious as previously thought. With a few days of rest and medication, he should be fine and dandy. In fact, he should be awake by tomorrow morning.”

Eridan sighed in relief at the message the doctor relayed to him. So he was going to be okay. Sollux was going to be okay. “W-what happened though doc? How’d it get this bad?” 

The doctor scratched his head and averted his eyes. “Well, uh, let’s just say he tired himself out.” He patted Eridan’s shoulder and turned to walk away.

Eridan processed the doctor’s response for a second before frowning in realization. “What do you mean by ‘tired himself out’? Don’t tell me he was in another one of those coding binges.” God, he hated Sollux’s coding binges with a passion. It usually drained the life out of Sollux and Eridan would spend periods of time trying to convince Sollux to sleep and eat and do the things that were essential to the human body. Of course, Sollux would always relent and do as Eridan said (ha, he would always be too tired to argue anyways), regardless of his whining. But if he went on a coding binge while Eridan was gone, anything could have happened. Stupid idiot probably didn’t eat his medication or take care of himself at all. 

The doctor sighed and turned to face Eridan with a sheepish expression. “Yes, I can only assume that’s what happened.”

Eridan sneered contemptuously. “God, I hate it when he gets like this. It’s such a pain,” he complained bitterly.

A snicker emanated from the doctor. “So you say. But you are still with him, aren’t you?” The doctor looked at Eridan with an amused grin and a playful glint in his eyes. “You must care deeply for Sollux if you complain about him that much and still manage to stay by his side.”

Silence permeated the space between them as Eridan realized the meaning behind the doctor’s words. In an instant, Eridan’s face flushed in embarrassment. Scoffing to cover up the blush that bloomed across his cheeks, he stammered and stood up defiantly. The doctor chuckled wholeheartedly before turning to walk away once more. “Well, you’re free to go in Sollux’s room anytime you want,” the doctor called out to Eridan. “And if you wish to, you’re free to stay the night and wait for him to wake up.”

Eridan acknowledged the doctor’s words with a silent nod before turning the opposite way and walking towards Sollux’s room.  
____________________

**Several hours later - Sollux**

The first thing Sollux felt when he woke up was the distinct feeling of a subsiding migraine, throbbing consistently against the back of his head. The second thing he felt was the feeling of sweat sliding down his hairline, leaving a trail of liquid that cooled immediately under the crisp air. His breath was heavy, his throat clogged with mucus, and he couldn’t shake the taste of his unsurprisingly acidic, bitter morning breath. Next to him, he could hear something, or perhaps someone, shifting around. Was Eridan home?

Sollux slowly opened his eyes and knew immediately that he was definitely not home. Instead of coming face-to-face with his dark beige ceiling, he was face-to-face with the white tiles of an all too familiar hospital. Blinking, Sollux lethargically got up into a sitting position and shivered when the blanket that covered him drooped down to his lower torso. Bringing a hand up to massage at his aching temples, Sollux wasn't surprised when he felt his burning forehead.

“Did I… Did I pass out..?” Sollux rasped, his voice groggy with sleep. 

“Yes, you did you dimwit,” he heard an overly familiar voice reply next to him. With a quick glance to the side, he saw Eridan sitting prim and proper on a hospital chair, glowering at him with his all too familiar frown. 

“Oh, hey ED,” Sollux said, half-waving at Eridan as if they were just in a casual setting and not in a hospital after he had collapsed. Eridan was clearly less than amused and the glare that was fixed over Eridan’s face deepened.

“Really? No, really. That’s all you have to say to me? ‘Oh, hey ED’ my ass, Sol! Do you know how much trouble you gave me?!” Yep, there it was. As soon as he saw that he was in the hospital, he knew for a fact that Eridan would be there to give him a piece of his mind. All Sollux could do was avert his eyes from Eridan’s scowling face and clear his throat. “First, before I even _left_ , I told you to take care of yourself and to take your medicine and eat and do everything a normal human being would do on a daily basis. And what did you do? Well, none of that it seems because from what I gather, _you_ were just too busy codin’ all week to even try to take care of yourself!”

“Well, to be fair, I was doing a commission for a client who just so happened to assign me something right before Christmas. If you want someone to blame, blame the client. You can’t blame me for everything ED,” Sollux stated with an even tone, though there was a hint of exasperation laced in his voice. He really didn’t feel like arguing right now.

“Well yes, I can. Just because a stupid client decides to ruin your Christmas break by assignin’ you a crappy code doesn’t mean you should ignore your health Sol. It’s as simple as that!” Eridan replied, obviously not willing to back out of his usual tendency of ‘blamin’-everythin’-on-Sol’.

Sollux’s eyebrow ticked with annoyance. “No, it’s not as simple as that Eridan! If I chose to put myself first over my work, I’d never get anything done and I’d be practically penniless right now!” In just a matter of seconds, Sollux was yelling back at Eridan, clutching the hospital bed sheets tightly in his hands. 

“So?! Who cares about the money Sol-”

“ _I_ care about the money!” Sollux interrupted Eridan mid-sentence. 

Eridan didn’t even bat an eyelash. “Well, _I_ don’t!”

Sollux gritted his teeth in frustration. “You don’t understand Eridan! You have a boatload of money and me? I have _nothing_.”

Eridan rolled his eyes at Sollux, dramatically face-palming himself in the process. “Oh, come on Sol! Don’t brin’ up this ‘I-have-nothin’-you-have-everythin’’ topic again. I just established that I was okay with payin’ for rent. You know, sometimes bein’ rich isn't always a good thin’.” 

“Yeah, I could already see that. Rich, pretentious asshole just seems to be ingrained in your personality,” Sollux sneered at Eridan sarcastically. A twinge of offended hurt flashed across Eridan’s face, making him feel as though he were the asshole, not Eridan. Sollux sighed wearily and rubbed his temples, making it an excuse to turn away from Eridan. “But that’s besides the point Eridan. I’m not aiming to be rich like you are; I just needed some money!”

Eridan recovered quickly from the previous hurtful comment and glared at Sollux. “W-well, I could have bought whatever you needed Sol! What could you _possibly_ want so badly that you’d be willin’ to risk your own health for?!” 

“Plenty of things!”

“Yeah? Well tell me and maybe this ‘rich, pretentiouth atthole’ might finally understand!”

“I needed it so that I could buy you a goddamn Christmas present!” Sollux exclaimed impulsively. A moment later, his face flushed uncharacteristically red at what he just admitted and he allowed his head to fall into his hands with a groan.

That finally caught Eridan off guard. His mouth was opened as if he were readying himself to fire back a reply but he closed it after processing Sollux’s words. His facial expression softened just a fraction before he dropped his gaze to the floor. “Oh… W-well, I don’t need a Christmas present you dolt. You don’t need to feel entitled to give me one…”

Sollux sighed in exasperation at Eridan as he lifted his head back up. Sometimes, he wondered if Eridan knew just how annoyingly dumb and oblivious he could be. “I don’t feel _entitled_ to give you one ED. I _want_ to give you one.” 

A long moment of silence permeated the room before Eridan spoke again. “I don’t need a gift Sol,” he said, still gazing intently at the ground. “Not if it meant losin’ you…” Eridan mumbled the last sentence so quietly Sollux had to strain his ears to listen. That’s when Sollux realized just how much he had worried Eridan. Ha, he probably gave Eridan a heart attack when he walked in and saw Sollux laying on the floor, practically dead to the world.

Sollux turned his gaze away from Eridan and stared down at his lap, wondering what he should even say in times like these. “... I… Sorry, ED. I really didn’t mean to, you know…” _‘Disregard my health,’_ Sollux finished in his thoughts.

“I know,” Eridan sighed in response before he got up from his chair and leaned over the bed. He hesitated for a moment before wrapping his arms around Sollux, burying his face into the crook of his neck. “Please, just… don’t worry me like that again.” 

Sollux nodded solemnly in Eridan’s grip. “I… I’ll try Eri,” was all he could say in response. They stayed like that for a while, just holding each other tightly, even after the sun began to rise. It was the 24th of December, the beginning of Christmas morning, and they didn’t intend to waste a single moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This actually isn't inspired by a song. I wrote this for my English class half a year ago but decided I might as well post it up (of course, after some editing). This is just a fluffy short Erisol drabble where Eridan and Sollux live together as a couple. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy!


	17. Stella - EriVris

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This short fic ties in with I Don't Love You and Break Your Little Heart!

17: **Stella - EriVris**

Eridan didn’t know when or how it got so bad. All he knew was that he was _overly obsessed_ with Vriska Serket. He was addicted to her taste, her confidence, and her talents; there was nothing about her that reminded him of himself. She was perfect, flawless, and amazing. So, when she took him to parties across the town, he was always gullible enough to follow her.

Each party they went to were, in retrospect, overwhelming similar to one another. There’d be wine, alcohol, junkies, and horrible music blasting through the entirety of the party. And then there’d always be those people who would prod at Eridan curiously, trying to force him to drink. To them, it was as though he was some sort of test subject, always egging him to ‘chug down’ a beer or drink. Whenever he refused, Vriska would come by and swing her arms over Eridan with a smirk, saying something along the lines of, “Oh come on Eridan, I just _know_ you can do it!” And that always gave him enough motivation to take the drink and chug it down as best as he could without choking. 

The next day, he would find himself bare in a secluded room with Vriska draped over his chest and his head throbbing painfully. 

As Vriska’s and Eridan’s relationship skyrocketed, so did the amount of times they went to parties. Each time it would always be the same; Vriska would take him, he’d be pressured into taking drinks, and he would wake up the next morning naked and hurting. But despite all of this, he still followed Vriska. He would follow Vriska to the ends of the world if she told him to. She was all he had and she knew it… But even then, everyone had a limit. Eridan was no different.  
__________

Eridan was terribly disoriented and tipsy. Today, Vriska had brought him to another party, though it was slightly bigger than the usual parties he went to with her. Not like this place was bigger than his mansion of course, just that it was bigger than usual and filled with people he knew nothing about. At least that meant everyone was too busy focusing on their friends and dates to notice him. And that meant he wouldn’t be forced to chug down drink after drink (thankfully).

Eridan weaved through the endless sea of people, trying to find Vriska and tell her that he wanted to go home. He felt disgusting and dishevelled. His hair was a mess, his clothes were wrinkled and he couldn’t even muster enough willpower to tuck in his shirt. To make matters worse, he was in the room where most of the dancing took place so it was incredibly hot and humid.

“Vris..? Hey… Vris, where are ya?” He called out to her before realizing that she probably couldn’t hear him over the thunderous music and the endless chatter of teenagers roaming about. He stumbled around the room, glancing left and right, trying to find the deviously attractive face he’s come to love so much. 

It didn’t take long to find her actually, not that he was surprised. She was in the middle of the room, swinging her hips and dancing extravagantly to the beat of the music. Her hair was tied into a loose ponytail and her loose tank-top strap was sliding over her shoulder, exposing skin that made Eridan stare more than he meant to. Her sweater was hanging comfortably on her waist and her skirt seemed to be shorter than usual, which hadn’t gone unnoticed considering the stares she got as she danced. Majority of them happened to be males. 

As a jealous frown creased over his face, he weaved his way through the crowd to Vriska and pulled her to a stop. A look of annoyance instantly came his way and he felt horrible already. “What the hell Eridan. Couldn’t you see that I was dancing? Sheesh, you should learn how to give a girl some space or you'll find yourself alone,” she snapped at him. 

Eridan was a bit too disoriented to truly feel the sting of her words. “Vris, I wanna go home,” he plainly states before tugging at her arm again.

She ended up rolling her eyes at him and tugging her arm free from his grasp. “Then go home yourself doofus, it’s not that hard. I’ll just catch a ride with someone else who’d be willing to let me have my fun without getting in my way.” 

A look of hurt briefly flashed across his expression. Of course she would say that, why did he think she would ever say anything other than that? “But…” He started before realizing he didn’t know what to say. _‘But I’m too drunk to know where I’m going’_ would result in him staying. _‘But I don’t want these lowlifes staring at your body like you’re something good to eat’_ would just make her crack up at him like he was some idiot. Maybe he was an idiot, for falling in love with someone like Vriska. Instead, he opted to stand up a little taller and command her to go with him. “Vris, we gotta go now. We’ve got school tomorrow and Cro’s not gonna wanna wait for us.”

A scoff was what he got in return. “Oh come on, do you really care about school and your scumbag brother?” She places a hand on her chest, feigning a hurt expression. “Don’t you care about what _I_ want?”

Eridan sighed at her in exasperation. “Vris, we’ve literally been here the whole day. It’s not like this is the most important party you’ve been to.” When she didn’t budge, he crossed his arms over his chest and glared down at her. “If you don’t come right this instance, I won’t buy you anythin’ anymore.”

A venomous smirk appeared on Vriska’s lips. “Well, then, I guess that just means we’re over.” 

That statement hit Eridan hard, making him jolt unconsciously. “W-wait, w-what?” He asked but Vriska had already turned around to walk away. He grabbed her wrist and held onto it desperately. “W-wait, Vris, don’t tell me you mean that,” he said, his voice edged with desperation. She merely turned and shrugged at him. 

A moment passed before she cracked into a wide grin and started laughing. “Oh my gosh, I can’t _believe_ you thought I was serious! Man, you should’ve seen your face, that was truly a moment I can never forget!” She cackled loudly now, drawing the attention of several people. Eridan stood there, dumbstruck and red-faced as his grip on Vriska’s wrist loosened. God, he was so embarrassed. 

“W-what the hell…” He muttered quietly before glaring darkly at her. “You don’t fuckin’ joke about that Vris, w-what made you think that w-was okay??” He cursed at himself for stumbling over his w’s. 

She shifted her weight onto her other leg and shrugged a little too nonchalantly. “Damn, you can’t even take a joke, can you?” A prickly feeling of anger bubbled in his stomach. Before he could fire back at her, she extended her hand towards him with a smile that melted his bubbling mass of frustration. “Come on, let’s go home then, you dweeb.” Still stinging from the stunt she pulled earlier, he huffed at her and hesitated before placing his hands on hers. She then lead the both of them to the outside, where he could breathe easier and see just a little more clearer. This was much, _much_ better.

The drive back to Vriska’s house (with Vriska driving of course) was quiet except for the occasional attempts for conversation. Although Eridan would liked to have called it a comfortable silence, he couldn’t help but feel as if he was alone in her car. Vriska barely made any attempts to answer questions he would throw at her, which left him a lot of time to think about her stunt earlier. Which still had him confused and frustrated. What if she _was_ serious? Did that mean he was only being used for money? After all, it wasn’t as if he hadn’t faced that before. But did that mean that she actually didn’t really care about him or their relationship as much as he thought she did? Those questions swam in his mind, making him feel as if he were going insane. Several times, he tried to convince himself that it was just a joke, that he was overthinking it. But he just couldn’t help it. 

Finally, after they drove in silence for a good 10 minutes, he asked, “Vris… do you actually like me?”

Without missing a beat, she replied, “Of course I do. Why else would I be dating you?”

Eridan tried to feel relieved. He wanted to leave it at that, but he just couldn’t bring himself to. “W-well yeah, but… I mean, there could be other factors… of w-why you’d be datin’ me…” He was scared shitless. 

Vriska just sighed at him as she kept her eyes forward on the road. “Come on Eridan, is this about my joke? Can’t you just drop it already?” She avoided the question. He felt like he was drowning. 

Eridan looked down and bit at his lips, an old habit he hadn’t been able to really get out of. “Yeah, okay, whatever you say,” he muttered quietly. God, he felt like such a fool.  
__________

Weeks passed by and Eridan couldn’t help but think more and more about Vriska and her little ‘joke’ she played on him. It kept gnawing at his mind constantly, never giving him rest. And as it did so, he couldn't help but notice the more uglier things about Vriska. For instance, her way of dodging topics was too obvious and sometimes she would end up neglecting him for a day or more. He often saw her with a classmate of his, Kanaya he remembered, and sometimes they would be standing a little too close for his comfort. He knew that Vriska was bisexual so he was never able to cross out the ‘possible-love-rival’ option. 

It wasn’t long before he started to notice the way they interacted. Sometimes, in the corner of his eyes, he would see them kiss and when he turned to fully look, they would be chatting as if nothing happened. Sometimes, they walked into classrooms together, classrooms that only he and Vriska would go into. He’d be tempted to see what they could be doing but he would always be busy doing something else or get pestered by a loud, foul-mouthed friend of his. It was that same friend that told him (multiple times) that Vriska was juggling around 3 secret relationships at the same time. He never believed it.

Not until he saw her kissing another one of his classmates, Tavros Nitram. 

They were in a unoccupied hallway, Eridan hid behind a wall quickly, wondering why he hoped to god that no one saw him. He stayed there for a second before he stole another peek, secretly hoping that his mind was just playing tricks on him and that they were just standing awkwardly close to each other or something. It wasn’t. There, right in front of him, stood Vriska snogging the face of the pathetically weak Tavros Nitram, who couldn’t even kiss her back properly. But for a while, they continued kissing, despite his obvious inexperience and all Eridan could do was stand there and watch. 

It wasn’t until he heard someone clear their throat did he realize that someone else stood on the opposite end of the hall. Kanaya. _‘Of course it had to be Kanaya,’_ Eridan thought bitterly to himself. Tavros and Vriska separated from their kiss and whipped around to look at Kanaya. Almost immediately, as if running away from a brewing storm, Tavros stumbled back and ran away from the scene. Running right in the direction where Eridan was hiding. So, when Tavros ran past the corner Eridan was hiding at and nearly crashed into him, he caught Eridan’s betrayed gaze and looked away guiltily before making a run for it. But, in the moment where they briefly exchanged glances, Eridan swore he saw a glint of _something_ in Tavros’ eyes. Regret.  
__________

Since the day he caught Vriska kissing Tavros, Eridan started to withdraw from the relationship he’s come to love with every fibre of his being. It wasn’t entirely his choice, Vriska had her share of ignoring his texts and giving Eridan more reasons to hate himself. Maybe he was too clingy, maybe he wasn’t good enough, maybe he was just someone to laugh at. _‘Hell, maybe Kan was in it too, or maybe even Tav,’_ he thought. He berated himself. _‘Of course not, they don’t seem like that type.’_ It was hard for him to think otherwise, but he knew that they were probably as much as a victim as he was. A victim for Vriska to feed upon and drain their energy. Ha, maybe she was actually a succubus, that wouldn’t be so far from the truth. But maybe that would be easier to deal with than this. 

He wished that he never met Vriska. He wished he wasn't so enchanted by her. He wished he hadn’t fallen into her trap. But it was too late for that now. She had already taken what she needed and discarded the rest, leaving Eridan a mess and desperate for her to come back. It was a curse he suffered through every stage of his life, just because he was well-off. Whether it was through friendships, love, or even just the desperate attempt to fit into society, there would always be that one person who always turned their back on him. 

He was just so tired of feeling this way.

_ Feels like I'm falling in love alone _

_ One more reason I should never have met you _   
_ Just another reason I could never forget you _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeaaah, it's been a while again. I did this one a little while ago but never really got around to posting it up yet. Sorry about that! Anyways, here's Stella by All Time Low. This one focuses on Eridan's relationship with Vriska and how it fell apart in this little "Vriska-ruins-everyone's-lives" AU. However, as you know in Break Your Little Heart, it is implied that he finds someone better than Vriska to have an interest in (*cough cough* sollux *cough cough*). Anyways, I hope you enjoy reading!


	18. Learning To Fall - Eridan, (past)EriFef, SolFef

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ughhhh, sorry for the loooong ass pause. I just haven't had a lot of motivation lately, because I was stuck on one part for far too long. Anyways, this chapter ties in with the story from Human and All To Myself, taking place after Eridan's break up with Feferi and after Sollux gets closer to Feferi. This could probably stand by itself, so if you haven't read the other parts yet, you don't have to. Here's Learning To Fall!

18: **Learning To Fall - (past) EriFef, SolFef**

Waking up was something Eridan Ampora always did with ease, no matter how late he had stayed up the night before. This time was no different, even though he wished he could just stay sleeping forever. A dreamless sleep was the only thing that liberated him from the confines of reality.

A knock on his bedroom door was the sole sound that woke him up that day. Almost immediately Eridan’s eyes fluttered open, his dull violet-tinted pupils staring up into his ceiling. On days like these, he would just lay in bed, wallowing in his self pity. Some days, he might try to get up and go back to school, but the end result always remained the same, no matter what he tried to do to motivate himself. He supposed today was no different.

Before Eridan could forget about the intruding knock on his door, the door opened revealing the not-so-pleasant face of his older brother. “... Heya chief.” Cronus greeted. Eridan said nothing in return. Not discouraged by Eridan’s lack of a response, he continued talking. “Dual said that you should go to school today, it’d be good for you or something.” 

Nothing. 

“Come on chief, dontcha miss your gang? They must be worried sick about you.” 

Still, nothing. 

With a sigh of slight exasperation, Cronus ran his hand through his greased black hair. “Come on Eridan, you haven’t been to school for a week. What on earth happened?”

Eridan still hadn’t told Cronus or Dualscar about what happened between him and Feferi. If he did, it would make things a little more real and he just couldn’t take that. “Nothin’ happened Cro, I just w-wanna be left alone…” He muttered. His voice was just barely above a whisper, raspy from the lack of use. 

Cronus shuffled around uncertainly before firing a question Eridan wished he didn’t ask. “... Is this about Feferi..?”

The mention of her name jolted Eridan away from his numbed senses and forced him back into the real world. The world where he didn’t have anybody. He turned to look at Cronus and gave him an icy glare. “Leave me alone Cro, I don’t want to talk to you,” he said, his voice cold and bitter. 

Cronus put his hands up in a ‘surrender’ position, grinning. “Woah there chief, didn’t mean to rattle your cage,” he said nonchalantly. After taking a good look at Eridan’s deepening frown, Cronus’ grin fell. He stared at Eridan for a bit before sighing and turning to get out of the room. “I’ll catch you later then, little bro. Take care of yourself.” He paused. “... Today’s a real nice day to go walking,” he muses absentmindedly to himself before exiting Eridan’s room. 

_‘The fucker didn’t even close the door,’_ Eridan thought to himself, scowling slightly. With a puff of annoyance, Eridan sat up from his bed and slid his legs over the edge. He gazed at the open door with dull eyes, contemplating whether he should get up and close it. _‘Well, I’m already up, might as well go over and shut the goddamn door.’_ With that mindset, he stood up and walked over to the door, shutting it slowly so that no sound could be heard. As he shuffled back to his bed, he could feel himself begin to withdraw from the real world again; it was something he did often now. He could still see and function properly, but everything was numb to him when he was in this state. He wished he could just stay numb forever.  
__________

Eridan spent the majority of his morning laying on his bed, either awake and despondent or drifting in and out of consciousness. Sometimes whenever he was close to falling into the merciful arms of sleep, the agonizing memories of the past would come to haunt him and tear him away from his only escape. It would whisper to him with a sweet soft voice before it morphed into his own voice, bitter and emotionless. It taunted him repeatedly and said, _‘You were never good enough. You should’ve known that she would leave you. Why did you even bother trying?’_ Those words always filled him up with heart-wrenching despair and gave him a sense of hopelessness. But those weren’t even the worse. The worst of his memories always, _always_ displayed Feferi smiling and giggling happily next to a lanky, tall asshole with heterochromia eyes. Sollux Captor. _‘She looked so happy and free with him, more than she ever did with you. You always made her tired. You never made her shine. You know for a fact that she’s better off with him.’_ It was the truth, he noticed. He saw it all the time when he saw them together, talking and leaning on each other either in public or away from other people. It was always a constant reminder that he had failed.  
__________

The first time he saw Sollux and Feferi together after Eridan and Feferi had broken up, they were walking in the front of the school with hands just barely touching. On sight, Eridan was filled with a dangerous amount of frustration, hate, and anger. Without thinking about what he was doing, Eridan stalked over to them and harshly shoved away Sollux before delivering a powerful hate-filled punch right in his unattractive freckled face. It didn’t take long for Sollux to punch Eridan back in the jaw. Unfortunately for Sollux, since Eridan was already in a haze of rage, nothing could faze him. As soon as Sollux’s fist landed on Eridan’s jaw, Eridan jumped on him and tackled him to the ground, inflicting punch after punch on his scrawny arms and face. He could hear the cry of shock coming from Feferi and the obscenities Sollux threw at Eridan, but they were all muffled noise to him. All he could really hear was the blood pumping in his ears. 

He continued with his barrage of attacks, not stopping until strong arms finally yanked him roughly off of the bruised and battered teen beneath him. And suddenly, everything cleared and his senses finally awoke once again. He could see the beginnings of a crowd with faces both familiar and unfamiliar. He could smell the sweat in the air and the scent of dirt filled his nostrils, inciting a choked cough that he held back. He could taste the blood in his mouth, metallic and bitter, just like him. He could hear the the murmur of excitement in the crowd and the sound of his own ragged breathing. He could feel the pounding in his head, the throbbing pain in his jaw and knuckles, and the strong grip of arms that proceeded to pull him further and further away from the one he despised most. The one thing that stood out to him the most, however, was the pain, the anger, and the hate contained on the face of the one he cared for the most.

_‘Fef…’_ His mouth opened subconsciously, as if he wanted to say something, but before he could, he was dropped to the ground just outside of the already dissipating crowd. Above him, he could see the anger and disappointment in the eyes of one of his only friends.

“K-Kar--”

“ _Don’t._ ”

Eridan shut his mouth immediately. For once, Karkat, his adviser and self-proclaimed best friend, wasn’t yelling at him and that scared him more than he could ever imagine. Kanaya, another person whom he thought of as a friend, came into view and yanked Eridan up by his arm before he could even utter a single sound. Without skipping a beat, she dragged him all the way to the front of the school building, not even sparing him a glance. As soon as they entered the building, she dropped his arm and rummaged around in her purse before pulling out some gauze, a small water bottle, and a couple of much-needed painkillers. She handed them over to Eridan without saying a word before turning away to walk back.

“W-wait, Kan,” he called out without thinking. Kanaya paused and, with an air of expectancy, did as he asked. Eridan opened and closed his mouth, not sure what to say. He knew he messed up. Hell, maybe he even messed up the only friendships he had in the world. But he couldn’t, for the life of him, say anything that was even remotely worthwhile. Even when he knew what she had wanted to hear was an apology, all he could utter was a simple “Thanks”.

Kanaya turned to Eridan and fixed on his eyes with the most iciest glare he ever received in his life. “Don’t be,” she simply stated, her voice hard and layered with a very subtle hint of disappointment. With a flourish, she turned and walked away from Eridan without a single glance back. Eridan pitifully watched her go before subconsciously wrapping an arm around his stomach. He felt as if he had just been punched in the gut.

Since then, everyone who was associated with Sollux Captor had stopped talking to Eridan altogether, aside from those who regularly told him to ‘get off his high horse and jump off a cliff; it’d be better for everyone’. Getting up from bed became significantly harder each day as he saw Feferi and Sollux become inevitably closer while he drifted further and further away with every passing second. It didn’t help that he couldn’t even go by Karkat and Kanaya without being reminded of how badly he messed up. Out of sheer willpower, Eridan only managed to attend school for another week and a half before ultimately deciding that there was no purpose. There wasn’t any hope for him in that school, not anymore. He had nobody.  
__________

A knock at Eridan’s door jolted him once more from his sleep. He, being the light sleeper of the family, had awoken before the jarring knocking stopped. With a groan, he turned to face the door. He could already guess who it was.

The door opened and once again it was Cronus’ face that greeted him. _‘Go figure,’_ Eridan thought to himself. Without Eridan’s consent, Cronus stepped into his room and closed the door behind him. “Hey bean, sorry for waking ya up from your nap,” he greeted casually, as if nothing had changed the past week.

Eridan only glared up at Cronus with mild irritation. “Go aw-way Cro, I told you I don’t w-want your company,” he lied. In truth, he was glad that Cronus came around and woke him up from the painful taunting of his memories. Though, he couldn’t help but have an underlying suspicion that Cronus had something up his sleeves.

Cronus shrugged once at him. “Yeah, you did. But I’m not the type to listen now, am I?” He grinned cheekily at him and winked before looking square at Eridan’s eyes. “But then again, neither are you.” Eridan stared at him with a blank expression. Cronus shifted and sighed, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Eridan lived with Cronus long enough to know that that usually meant he was nervous and Cronus being nervous was never a good thing. “... Hey… what happened between you and Feferi?” Cronus asked slowly, his hesitance thick in his voice.

Eridan sighed and looked up at the ceiling, his eyebrows creased with a frown. “How-w many times do I hawe to tell you; _nothin’_ happened. I’we just been feelin’ sick is all--”

“Stop it Eri.” For once, Cronus’ voice rang louder than usual, stopping Eridan’s sentence immediately. Eridan flinched and looked over to Cronus with wide eyes, his frown giving way to surprise. 

Cronus weaved his hand through his hair and angrily took a step towards Eridan’s bed. “Damn it Eri, how many times are you gonna lie to me? Don’t I deserve to know what’s been happening around you?” When Eridan didn’t respond fast enough, Cronus let out a puff of breath and glared down at Eridan. “I’m not asking for much Eri. I’m not asking for anything at all! All I want to know is why you’ve been in the low lately, aren’t I good enough to know at least why?” He took another step. “For fucks sake Eri, I know you’ve been through shit. I know you feel more depressed and lonely than you ever had in your entire life. I _know_ that Feferi broke up with you. But I swear to god if you think I’m just gonna sit by and watch you torture yourself like this…” At this point, Cronus was towering over Eridan, his face twisted and contorted in anger as he stared down at his face. Eridan stared back, looking deep into Cronus’ eyes. In it, he could see his own reflection staring back at himself, indignant yet vulnerable and terrified all at once. Before he could try to regain his composure, Cronus must’ve saw just how frail Eridan truly was inside because his gaze suddenly softened into something that was more compassionate than anything Eridan had ever seen. With Cronus’ softening gaze, Eridan could feel the anger, as well as the energy, drain out of Cronus, as if something was sucking out all of his essence. Eridan felt as though it might as well have been him who took it away, just like how he did all those years with Feferi.

Before his thoughts could go any further Cronus spoke once again, his voice lowered and filled with something Eridan thought he would never hear in Cronus’ voice. Vulnerability. “I know I’m a fucking shitty brother to you Eridan. I haven’t been taking care of you like a brother is supposed to do and I know you must be pretty pissed at me ‘cause of that. But please, this has gone on for far too long. I can’t deal with seeing you tearing yourself down like this anymore…” 

Eridan didn’t know how to feel. No, that wasn’t it, he just didn’t know what to call it. It was a foreign feeling and it scared the shit out of him. He could feel something squeeze around his heart, suffocating him and forcing him to choke out a noise he couldn’t perceive. He could feel his body slowly start to tremble as a flood of emotions forced itself out of him. Everything, every facade and lie, was slowly being undone, leaving Eridan more exposed than ever. But despite all of this, he felt more lighter, more freer than he’s ever been. He had never, ever felt as loved as he did at that moment.

When another noise escaped his throat, he finally realized why it felt like he couldn’t breathe; sobs were slowly building up in his throat and his eyes began to overflow with tears that had been held in for far too long. “I…” He couldn’t finish. The tightness in his throat and the pathetic whimpers he tried so hard to stifle made it too difficult to talk. 

Once again, Cronus did something that Eridan knew he wasn’t used to doing. He pulled Eridan up gently before wrapping an arm around Eridan’s shoulders, drawing him into an embrace. With the clumsy fingers of someone who wasn’t used to comforting another person, Cronus laid his hand on top of Eridan’s head, patting and smoothing over his hair and back. “It’s okay Eri, just let it all out. I’m here…” He muttered softly. Eridan buried his face into Cronus’ chest, hiding his face from the world, and clung onto him like his life depended on it. With his tears staining the front of Cronus’ shirt, Eridan let himself drown in the overflowing emotions and allowed it to pour out through the muffled sobs wracking through his body. After all this time, he never thought he could ever feel as light as he did now.   
__________

It took him a long while before the tightness in his chest quelled and he could finally breathe normally again. Despite the fact that the tears in his eyes hadn’t disappeared completely and the fact that this was the first comforting action he’s received in weeks, he still pulled away from Cronus’ warm inviting arms. It took him a long time before he was able to say anything.

“... Me and Fef broke up… just a few weeks ago,” Eridan established. Even though Cronus already knew, Eridan felt it was important to readdress it. It was still something Eridan was struggling to wrap around his head.

Beside him, Eridan saw and felt Cronus sigh and nod solemnly. “I know…” Cronus chuckled half-heartedly. “I mean, I had to hear it from _Kanny_ of all people. He heard it from Mituna, who heard it from Latula, who heard it from Rufioh, who heard it from Damara, who heard it from Meenah, who heard it from Feferi. How crazy is it that almost everyone else knew about it except for me? I mean, come on Eri, I’m your brother...”

A guilty expression crossed over Eridan’s face. He really hadn’t meant to shut Cronus out like that (or maybe he did, subconsciously, he couldn’t tell). All he really wanted was to avoid making the truth a reality and look where he ended up. He supposed it could have gone a dozen times better but it certainly was too late for that now. How could he have fallen this far?

Cronus watched Eridan a bit before shaking his head and sighing. “No, no, I get it Eridan,” he broke out into a small smile and patted Eridan’s head. “It must’ve been hard for you to accept it. Maybe you didn’t want to admit it happened.” He was dead on. 

“Doesn’t necessarily mean it’s okay…” Eridan grumbled low under his breath. Regardless of what Cronus said, he still couldn’t help but feel guilty about it. 

The hand that was on Eridan’s head began to ruffle his hair around wildly, snapping Eridan out of his guilty stupor. “Wha- Cro, stop that!” He smacked away Cronus’ hand and scooted away from him, shielding his already tangled hair from any further damage. Cronus laughed heartily, seemingly to relax at Eridan’s reaction. With a soft smile, he laid down on Eridan’s bed and looked up to the ceiling. A silence settled between the two for a brief moment. 

“You know, nothing’s going to change if you don’t do anything.” Cronus suddenly said. He was looking at Eridan now, the smile gone from his face.

Eridan averted his gaze. “I know-w.”

“... Well, what are you going to do about it?”

Eridan huffed, drawing his knees to his body. “How-w the fuck should I know-w? There’s hardly anythin’ I can do and you know-w that.”

“But you also know you can’t leave things as they are, chief. Just… Think for a second about what you _can_ do. Not what you _can’t_ do.”

It took a minute for Eridan to consider Cronus’ words. Can he actually do something? What can he do? He fucked up so bad, he wasn’t even sure if he should even try to fix anything… But… He felt doubt tug at his mind. Maybe, fixing it wasn’t an option. But, maybe instead of trying to fix it, he could come to terms that things might never be the same and… maybe, just maybe… he could try to tell Feferi that was sorry. Ha, it might not make things better, but it surely was better than wallowing in self-pity. He was tired of feeling so miserable and hopeless.

A shift on the bed forced Eridan out of his thoughts and he looked up to Cronus, who had turned over onto his stomach. A small, knowing smile was fixed on Cronus’ face. “Did ya finally figure out what you needed to do, champ?”

Eridan was silent for a second before he nodded, still a little uncertain. “I hawe to… apologize to her. I hawe to tell her I’m sorry.” It was like he was trying to convince himself, as if he’d run away again if he didn’t repeat it. “It might not change anythin’ but I still need to do it.” He didn’t know what he’d do if Feferi still hated him after he apologized, but he could dwell on that another time.

Cronus could only nod at Eridan’s declaration. It was progress. It was a far cry from getting the Eridan he knew back, but at least he managed to bring Eridan out of his shell. Cronus got off the bed and stretched. “Well, you got it chief. There’s nothing more I need to do here.” He started walking towards the door.

“Ah, w-wait,” Eridan called out without realizing it. A small part of him wanted Cronus to stay there, to comfort him more and to keep him company until Eridan was convinced that he was doing the right thing.

As Eridan wished, Cronus turned back around. “Yeah, chief?”

“I… uh, er..,” Now that he had Cronus’ attention again, Eridan didn’t know what to say. ‘Thanks for being here with me?’ ‘Stay with me?’ ‘Where were you all these years when I was all by myself?’ There were too many things he wanted to say to Cronus, he just couldn’t pick one.

Somehow, Cronus could sense what Eridan wanted to say. Chuckling lightly, he walked back over to Eridan’s bed, looking down at Eridan with a warm smile. “You’re welcome chief,” he said, putting a hand on Eridan’s head. “You’re strong Eridan, stronger than you realize. So, I know that you’ll be fine here, without me by your side.”

Eridan huffed and looked down at his toes. “You say that like you’re going somewhere far away.”

“Ha, nah, I’m just saying what’s true. You don’t need me here right now, and you know that.” Cronus lightly knocked his knuckles against Eridan’s head. “Just call me up whenever you need me.” He turned away again, officially leaving Eridan’s room. Through the door that Cronus had closed, Eridan could hear Cronus exclaim, “Shit, I’m late for work!”

A small puff of laughter escaped from Eridan’s lips. His brother was so peculiar sometimes. But he can’t deny that sometimes, Cronus was kinda cool. Sometimes.

Eridan got up from his bed and shuffled over to the window, opening the window curtains. The sun rays chased the darkness out of Eridan’s room and he had to shield his eyes for a second as they adjusted. It’s been so long since he saw the outside world.

Looking down to see Cronus hurriedly driving off to work, Eridan couldn’t help shaking his head. With trembling fingers, Eridan slowly opened up the hatch to his window.

A fresh wave of air caressed Eridan’s frame as he opened the windows to his bedroom and stared up at the cloudless sky. He breathed in the air and exhaled, finally allowing himself to let go of whatever remained in his bitter heart. And as he exhaled, his eyelids fluttered shut and the tiniest hint of a smile appeared on his lips.

“It really is a nice day for a walk.”

_ Today is the day, _   
_ The worst day of my life. _   
_ You're so content until it hurts me. _   
_ I don't know why. _   
_ The cost of misery is at an all-time high. _   
_ I keep it hidden. _   
_ Close to the surface, inside. _

_ I'm learning to fall. _   
_ I can't hardly breathe. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is inspired by the song Learning To Fall by Boys Like Girls. In this chapter, Eridan dwells in the aftermath of his break up with Feferi and proceeds to get advice from his older brother, Cronus. Sorry if I made any character in this chapter OOC, and please notify me of anything that doesn't make sense. Feedback would be greatly appreciated!


	19. 19: Summer Ocean Blues - Erisol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was just a little drabble I put together for a discord server. Enjoy!

19: **Summer Ocean Blues - Erisol**

Looking out to the sight of countless, majestic waves crashing onto the sandy shore, Eridan couldn’t help but admire the sight of the ocean might. Breathing a sigh, he took a seat on the sand under a parasol that he set up himself, feeling the familiar soft grains shift under his weight. Letting his eyes flutter shut, he let himself be swallowed up by the senses of the ocean. He felt as though it was calling his name with its familiar roar, enticing him with the salty smell that he’s grown so accustomed to. The wind seemed to pull at his clothes and hair, but he couldn’t find it in himself to be angry at it despite it messing up his definition of perfection. He loved the ocean. Without a doubt, the ocean was his one and only true love.

All of a sudden, the taste of sickly sweet honey and an abrupt feeling of bitter cold on his lips breached Eridan’s senses, intruding upon his only moment of quiet in weeks. Opening his eyes and exclaiming in surprise, his connection with the ocean broke and he came face-to-face with Sollux Captor, his one true adversary. He could hear the Captor snort and snicker in amusement at Eridan’s reaction, his laugh a nasally mess. 

“Pfhahahah keheheheh, omfg ED, you thould-should’ve seen your face! I’ve honestly never seen anyone so offended before in my ENTIRE life!” Sollux chortled at Eridan’s face, clearly taking delight in Eridan’s contempt for him at that moment.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up asshole. God knows the only thin’ you have wracked up in that brain of yours is makin’ my life miserable,” Eridan scowled at Sollux, crossing his arms over his chest. He adds quietly, “And after I finally caught a break…” He had been doing photoshoots upon photoshoots for weeks, so he couldn’t help the irritation that seeped into his voice.

“Ahh, yeah, yeah, Eri-Dick. I know my life revolves around making your life a living hell, but that’s not the only reason I’m here.” With that, he brought into view the original offender, the one that snapped Eridan back to reality. It was an ice cream sundae _monstrosity_. The original base, a couple scoops of vanilla, was _covered_ by a thick layer of honey, and on top of that were oreo crumbles, actual whole oreo cookies, honest-to-goodness _doritos_ (who even eats ice cream with _doritos???_ ), kit-kat’s and m&m’s. It was an abomination that needed to be destroyed. Immediately.

As if reading Eridan’s thoughts, when Eridan reached out to grab the sundae, Sollux moved it back, shielding it with his hand with a smug expression ( _he fucking knew it would bother the everloving shit out of him_ ). “Now, now, ED, we don’t wanna be too hasty. Remember, I can read you like the palm of my hand.”

“Sol, you don’t even know what the palm of your hand looks like. The only thin’ you pay attention to is your dumb, stupid computer code,” Eridan spat at him, giving him a distasteful look.

Sollux’s expression twitched just the slightest amount, but Eridan could tell he struck a nerve, though he didn’t know what nerve he managed to strike. “As if you’re one to say, _Eridan_. All you ever care about is your looks and trying to be perfect in front of an audience who doesn’t even know how you really act. I mean, I haven’t been able to see you in a week and the first thing you do is go off to the beach. Your _one true love_.” It looked as though Sollux was trying to play it off as a joking insult, but Eridan could see the slight hurt behind his expression, which was the only thing he could gauge because Sollux’s stupid red and blue shades were in the way.

Eridan could only look guiltily to the side. “W-well, I invited you so you have no right to imply that I’m ignorin’ you,” he huffed. He could hear Sollux exhale impatiently through his nose.

“Right. And the only reason I came is because if I didn’t go, you would’ve most likely gone by yourself and then you’d go back to work the next day and I wouldn’t be able to see you for another 2 weeks. Great Eridan. At least you didn’t run off to the beach the second I parked and pretended I wasn’t here. Oh wait, _you did_.” At this point, Sollux was glaring bitterly at Eridan, his grip tight around the ice cream sundae.

Eridan knew Sollux was right, but at the same time, he felt indignant that Sollux couldn’t understand that all he wanted was some peace and quiet for just a little while. He had been bustling around and performing and taking pictures for people he didn’t care about; he just wanted to escape from having to socialize with anyone for a little bit. But on the other side of the looking glass, the only interaction that Sollux has had was with a computer screen, so he was probably _dying_ for human interaction. Everyone else had been unusually busy during the summer, including Eridan. He supposed it wasn’t fair. For either of them.

With a sigh, Eridan stood up and looked down at the ice cream monster in Sollux’s hand. He yanked it out of Sollux’s hands fairly easily and took a nauseating bite, chomping through a couple of m&m’s and half an oreo, as well as a spoonful of honey and barely a trace of vanilla ice cream. It was just as bad as he thought. But… It wasn’t the worst. Eridan quickly sat back down and then looked up at Sollux.

“W-well, I’m not eatin’ this piece a’ sugary disgustingness all by myself, Sol,” Eridan called out to Sollux before patting the space next to him. Slowly, almost reluctantly, Sollux sat down next to Eridan and leaned his forehead against Eridan’s shoulder.

“... You know… You can be a real piece of shit,” Sollux grumbled into Eridan’s shoulder. Eridan couldn’t help a slight chuckle.

“Yeah, real original Sol. You could come up with somethin’ better than that.”

Sollux was silent for a second before he spoke again. “I don’t wanna right now.” Honestly, for being a 24 year old, Sollux still sometimes acted like a kid. But, Eridan had to admit it was kinda cute. Annoyingly enough.

“Heh, maybe it’s because you’re dumb and you know it.”

“Don’t make me take that abomination from you and dump it all over your skanky body ED.”

“Ha, see, you admit it’s an abomination too!”

“Well, that’s because it was supposed to be.” Sollux shifted and gave Eridan a smug half-grin, while still leaning on his shoulder. “It was for you, you dumbass.”

“So, I was right then. About your life revolving around making my life hell.” Eridan sighed resignedly.

“Yyyyep,” Sollux drawled. Eridan could feel the smile behind his tone and he couldn’t help but smile himself.

“Fine, I guess I’ll just have to suck it up and deal with it,” Eridan murmured before he leaned over and kissed Sollux’s (sweaty) forehead.

The ocean may be Eridan’s one true love and Sollux Captor may be his one true adversary, but he supposed he didn’t mind having the Captor as his boyfriend.


End file.
